In the evening, my best friend and I were dining in a restaurant and encountered a very interesting thing.

While we were eating and chatting happily, a milky voice said: “Sister, can I sit next to you?” I looked and saw a boy of about five or six years old standing next to me. , holding a few roses in his hand.

When I was stunned, he handed me a rose and said, “Sister, this rose is for you.”

I thought he was a little boy selling flowers, so I took the flowers from him and prepared to give him some change.

I opened my bag and wanted to give him money, but he said: “Sister, you don’t need to give me money. You look so beautiful when you smile. You must wait until I grow up. When I grow up, I will marry you.” The little boy said matter-of-factly. Yes, listening to his childish words, I was stunned.

At such an old age, do you already know that you will marry a wife in the future?

I smiled and rubbed his head, “Kid, do you know what having a wife means?”

“I know, my mother said that having a wife represents responsibility and responsibility, as well as happiness.” The little boy answered simply.

I was stunned. What the child’s mother said was quite good.

“Why are you running around looking for pretty girls again?” A woman dressed generously and decently came over with a smile, looked at me and smiled apologetically.

“It’s okay! He’s cute.” I said to the woman with a smile.

The woman pulled the little boy to leave, but the little boy refused and insisted on sitting with us. I had no choice but to say, “How about you sit with us?”

My best friend asked: “Are there just two of you? It’s just right for two of you to sit with us. This seat is for four.”

The woman sat down helplessly, sighed and said, “I just got divorced, and now my mother and son live together. I send him to school before going to work, and pick him up after work. We eat and go home together.”

I don’t know why she told us this. After all, we don’t know each other. Maybe she has suppressed it for too long and wants to talk.

“When I got divorced, my mother-in-law’s family didn’t support my divorce. My husband’s family didn’t care about my life or death at all. My friends and colleagues also said that I was messing around. Maybe it was just me who was messing around,” she continued.

My best friend was curious: “Why did you get divorced?”

The woman looked at the people eating around her and said, “Can you tell which of them are married couples? Which ones are unmarried couples?”

“Ah? I didn’t observe it carefully,” my best friend and I said in unison.

She said: “I can tell. Look, the couple in the corner on the left are looking at each other and talking to each other while eating, and the man is frequently picking up food for the woman. They must be an unmarried couple, and they are in love. What else do you think? Look at the couple next to them. The man is eating and playing with his mobile phone. He doesn’t even look at the woman or talk to her. The woman is looking around while eating. You can also observe the people at other tables. “

We looked around and saw a lot of couples in different states, but we were not sure whether they were married or unmarried. She said that her judgment was not wrong, and then asked the little boy to ask several couples, and the result was exactly what she said. This vision is so accurate, my best friend and I were amazed.

But does this have anything to do with divorce?

She said, “Yes, the child’s father and I are the same way. We are busy with our own business, and we also eat separately during meals. There is no communication, and he doesn’t care about the child. We originally agreed to go with the child together on weekends. The playground, but he ended up going to a party with friends to drink on weekends. Before the marriage, the two agreed that after they had children, they would still spend half a day every weekend to spend time with each other. However, he always found an excuse to run away. . Usually at home at night, he doesn’t want to communicate with me. He only checks his mobile phone and watches beautiful women’s live broadcasts. It’s so difficult to have a good conversation with him, let alone a world between two people.

In his eyes, I seemed to be transparent, and he treated me as if I didn’t exist at all. Apart from quarrels, there was no communication. Since having the child, he has moved to the guest room to sleep. Since then, we have almost never had any time alone together. It feels like I married him just to give him a child, and then help him raise the child on my own.

I feel like this kind of married life is so boring. I just want him to spend some time with me, even if he just has a good chat with me, isn’t that too much? But he said that after I gave birth to the child, I turned into a witch and picked on him all day long. After that, the conversations between us became more and more difficult, and the atmosphere at home became worse and worse. In the end, he didn’t even return home and had sex with other women outside…

Listening to what she said, I understood why the little boy said: Marrying a wife represents responsibility and responsibility, as well as happiness.

I also suddenly thought that the second language mentioned in the book “The Five Love Languages”: quality moments, turns out to be so important.

The author of “The Five Love Languages”: Dr. Gary Chapman is a well-known American marriage counseling expert. He mentioned in the book that he once conducted a survey:

He found that if two lovers dining together were in love, they would often look at each other intently, and this eye contact was full of love.

But if you switch to a married couple, the situation is very different. The two usually look around while eating, hardly looking at each other. In other words, people in love eat to fall in love, while married people eat to eat.

When the woman said that you can tell whether someone is married by watching them eat, I actually forgot about the survey mentioned in the book.

So what are quality moments?

A quality moment is a time when you give someone your full attention. Simply put, it is to create a time that is completely yours, even if it is only 20 minutes. During this time, focus on being with the other person and don’t worry about other things.

To make your lover feel your sincerity, the most important thing is to concentrate. Put down your cell phone and other things at hand, and chat with your significant other about work, interesting things in life, and annoying things. The important thing is not what you talked about, but the emotional exchange during this time together.

Of course, quality time isn’t just about sitting and chatting, there are many activities worth experiencing. For example, traveling together on a wedding anniversary, or meeting regularly to attend a party, watch a movie, etc.

Maybe the hobbies of two people are quite different, so they need to compromise with each other. Suppose you like reading books, but your husband likes watching football. It is a sign of love for a husband to accompany his wife to a bookstore. The same goes for watching football games with my husband. At the same time, you can also create a sharing time.

That is to say, sit together regularly every day to talk about the day’s life, the happy things and the difficult problems. The process of communication is actually a process of releasing emotions and a process of understanding each other.

If both parties can calm down and listen to the other party’s voice, they will not be irritable when encountering problems, and they will be more considerate of the other party’s mood. This plays a very important role in creating a harmonious and harmonious relationship between husband and wife.

This method is especially suitable for couples with children.

After having a child, most of the energy of the couple, especially the mother, will be transferred to the child, leaving little time for the two of them.

This has a great impact on the relationship between the two of them. Think about it, when the two of them were in love, they talked about everything. After marriage, the communication gradually became less and less, and the little communication was all about the children.

As time goes by, the two people understand each other less and less, and they feel that they have nothing to say, as if they have fallen into a vicious cycle from which they cannot escape.

Therefore, after you get married and have children, you should also create time dedicated to the two of you. You can leave the children to your parents or friends to take care of them for a while, and the two of you can go out to watch a movie or have a meal together.

If there is really no one to help take care of the child, you can wait until the child goes to bed at night and set aside a period of time to chat. Even if the time is short, as long as you can have such a focused moment every three to five, it will be a good promotion for the relationship.

My neighbors are a couple born in the 1970s. They have been married for more than 20 years, and their relationship is still very good. They live a sweet and happy life, which is envied by everyone in the community. They go out holding hands every day. They said that the reason why their relationship has been able to maintain so well and for so long is because of the time spent communicating every night.

They said that almost every night, they would recount what they had seen, heard, and done that day. Even after decades of marriage, the relationship between the two is as close as when they were in love. They also understand each other better and better, and there is never a situation where they have nothing to say.

If you also want to keep your love alive after marriage, you must remember to create a thoughtful moment for you and him.

If you don’t know what he wants, you can find a time to chat first, or make a list to see what he most wants to do with you.

For example:

He wants to be with you: sleeping, fishing, attending parties, watching football games, watching movies…etc.

You want to be with him: shopping, traveling, cooking, going back to your parents’ home, accompanying and educating your children…etc.

After listing them, plan a time to implement them together.

In life, there are many things that can distract you. Then create a moment, put away the phone, settle the children, focus on showing that you care about the other person, like being with the other person, talking, doing something together, and focus on listening and/or responding to the other person.

Companionship is the longest confession of love, and staying together is the warmest promise.

As the little boy said: Marrying a wife represents responsibility and responsibility, as well as happiness. The same goes for marrying a husband, because love is mutual.

Love and marriage can only be perfected, not perfect. Only by constantly improving yourself can you learn to perfect love. Every love is a story, and you are the writers of this story. You can enrich this story, and you can also enrich it. Blandness can even determine the ending of this story.

Create a thoughtful moment for each other and keep the love as it originally was.

The most heart-warming thing is each other’s dedicated companionship.