There is a difference between talking about marriage and falling in love. It is enough to devote yourself to pure love when you are young. At this time, it is really unnecessary to use the utilitarianism of worldly conditions to deprive yourself of the opportunity to enjoy pure emotions. But if it is clear that you want to date with the goal of getting married, then you really need to consider more factors when choosing a person.
As a marriage partner, what aspects should you consider when choosing a man? To clarify this issue, you might as well take a look at what satisfaction a woman may need from her husband in married life. I have summarized five points, which is not guaranteed to be comprehensive, but most situations are covered.
It must be explained in advance that different people at different stages have different weight rankings for these five conditions. Therefore, before choosing a marriage partner, calmly ask your own heart and do a good job of ranking the weights. If you already have someone you like, you can compare it with him to see how satisfied you are.
I believe that no one can 100% meet all your requirements, which is why I asked you to do the weight ranking. As long as he can meet the first few points that are most important to you, he should be considered a good candidate.
Of course, some conditions are necessary. That is to say, no matter how good the other conditions are, if this one cannot be met, it will still have to be vetoed by one vote. There are also some conditions that are alive and well. They may not work now, but they may satisfy you in the future. I will explain these below each one.
1. The quality of kindness.
This is absolutely a necessary condition. No matter how good it is in other aspects, without this one, it will be eliminated immediately. Don’t think that if he loves you, he won’t use his evil intentions on you. If you love me now, what if you don’t love me anymore in the future? When you are in love, you have to live or die, but when you are divorced, you go to court and attack and hurt without a bottom line. Have you ever heard of this situation?
If he is a kind person, a soft-hearted person, and a person with a sense of justice, even if he has no feelings or even has a conflict of interest, he will not treat his former lover as an enemy.
Yesterday I was surfing the Internet and saw someone sharing a man’s opinion on buying a house before marriage. After reading it, I thought of one word—exquisite egoism. Yes, maybe this person is a high-quality person in the blind date market, but the filth underneath the glamor is really disgusting.
If he only pondered these thoughts quietly in his mind, it would not be incomprehensible, but this man could speak out openly to others, and seemed to be a little proud of his own intelligence, and did not think that it was ugly and shameful to scheme against women in this way. It shows that this person has a big problem with his basic views.
Besides, the person he was scheming was not a stranger, but his own wife, the woman he planned to spend the future with. When you meet such a man, you can hide as far as you can, no matter how glamorous you are, you can’t touch him.
2. Love, and the emotional value that comes with it.
Emotional values include: praise and appreciation, care and consideration, comfort and companionship, congenial interests, mood adjustment, etc.
If you ask what is the difference between modern marriage and marriage in the past, I am afraid it is this one. In the past, most people relied on introductions, and even parents made the decision. The main thing was that the conditions were suitable. Who asked you if you had the feeling of being electrified? To be precise, in the past, when people got married, they just found someone to live with. But how many modern women don’t care whether they love each other or not?
Even if there is love between both parties, it does not mean that you can sit back and relax. Because love is unreliable and may change at any time in the future. But at least, right now, there must be love.
The older I get, the more I realize that having a loving husband will greatly affect a woman’s happiness.
Of course, one thing to note is that not every man is born to love others. Even if he has love in his heart, he can’t say it with his mouth or take action. But as long as love exists, there is still room for improvement. Men also need to learn and grow.
As for how to calmly let a man express love in the way you like, it is of course a science. Paying more attention to my articles is also one of the ways to learn, haha.
3. There is at least one aspect that you appreciate and admire, which can be an ability, a quality, or an advantage.
There must be an element of worship in a woman’s love for a man. This is also the instinct given to women by nature to select the source of excellent genes for future generations. If a woman despises a man in her heart, even if she gets married for other reasons, the good life will not last long. There is a high probability that the more she looks at him, the more she dislikes him, unless the man is good at growing and progressing.
But this condition is not the kind of one-vote admission. In other words, a man who is extremely smart, talented, and knowledgeable can marry with his eyes closed? of course not. Because these alone may not necessarily lead to a good marriage. Therefore, this condition must exist, but it cannot be the only condition.
In reality, some men who think they are talented are more likely to be very egotistical in character. Self-centered people pay more attention to their own feelings and cannot feel or care less about the feelings of others. Being friends with such a person is not a big problem if you walk around occasionally, but it is not very pleasant to be with them all day and night.
4. Economic contribution.
Although most modern women can be financially independent, this does not mean that women are willing to support the family on their own. Especially during the period of childbirth and young children, men can provide strong financial security, so that women can feel safe.
Since women are born to bear the bulk of the burden when it comes to childbirth. Regardless of physical strength, energy and time, women’s contribution to childbirth is far beyond what men can do. So, men should contribute more to making money. It’s fair and reasonable.
Women can be more emotional than materialistic, and this does not conflict with the need for financial support from men. A man’s love cannot be just words. If you love someone, wouldn’t you want to use your own abilities to make her and her children’s lives more comfortable? Money itself is not good or bad. Of course money can be an expression of love.
5. Harmonious sexuality.
This may not seem easy to explain on the table, but it is very important. It is not uncommon for conflicts or even breakups to occur because of this issue. This is one of the reasons why I don’t object to premarital sex.
Of course, harmonious sex covers a wide range, not only referring to certain mechanical movements, but also all intimate behaviors between men and women. As long as it’s a way that satisfies both parties. Therefore, even if you really have a physical problem, it does not mean that you cannot have harmonious sex.
I hope the above can inspire women in choosing a mate.