In fact, love is not only an exclusive product for celebrities and idols, but a welfare shared by all mankind.
For example, yesterday I went shopping and met an old couple in a restaurant at noon. The wife ordered beef noodles and the husband ordered pork ribs rice. The wife raised her chopsticks and put the large pieces of beef into the husband’s bowl, and the husband picked the most. A good piece of ribs was put into my wife’s mouth. Do you dare to say that there is no love between them?
I approached them and asked curiously: Uncle and aunt, do you still feel this loving when eating at home? It makes us young people so envious!
The old man spoke: Our fate started with eating.
She likes to cook, and I just like to eat the food she cooks, and we have spent our lives together like this. What a romantic love.
How important is eating to the relationship between the sexes?
In the words of my father’s generation, two people can’t live together. Love alone is not enough. The so-called food and sex are also important, and harmony between meals is crucial.
So, how can we understand through a meal whether the person in front of us is suitable for a lifetime?
First, let’s look at the dishes.
1. Dependency
My friend Rachel and her husband met on a blind date. The matchmaker took them to a hotel and left with an excuse, leaving the two of them meeting for the first time.
Rachel still imagined that the boy would pull up a seat for her like a gentleman. However, the man looked at the empty seats in the row and actually stayed there and hesitated: “Which table should we sit at?”
Rachel couldn’t bear to look at that irritated look, so she just found a seat by the window and sat down.
After sitting down, the waiter came to order. The boy said: My mother said, ladies first.
Rachel shuddered: She is already close to thirty, and she still needs to rely on “mother’s words” as a guide to life?
Rachel ordered it herself, and then asked the boy what he wanted to eat.
The boy seemed generous and said that as long as it was not spicy, it would be fine.
The implication is, you make the decision for me.
Rachel is a heartless girl. She originally thought that this boy just lacked some opinions and had some phobia, but there was nothing else wrong with him.
After getting married, Rachel discovered a big problem. She was not married to a grown man, but to a giant baby.
His husband is completely dependent. The way he interacted with his parents when he was a child was that his parents were absolutely authoritative and in a dominant position, and he catered to his parents’ dominance with absolute obedience and dependence.
From schooling to work, everything was decided by his parents. When he got married, the control of his life was transferred to Rachel .
After marriage, Rachel ‘s husband had no independent ability in life. He had no independent opinions on everything from choosing clothes to buying a house. He looked like a mentally soft and boneless baby. He was attached to Rachel and forced Rachel to do so. I wish I could grow seven heads and six arms, and I am exhausted both physically and mentally.
If such a boy meets a girl who is as strong as his mother and likes to dominate, it will be a perfect match. If one is good at dependence and the other is good at domination, there will be no problem.
However, Rachel grew up in a democratic family. She neither likes to dominate nor is overly dependent on others. So if she wants to relax her life, she can only pray that her husband will “grow up” soon.
2. Domineering CEO
Cathy , a colleague from the previous unit, encountered a completely opposite situation to Rachel .
Mr. Li met Cathy through a friend. He was attracted by her beautiful face and launched a fierce pursuit. Cathy was impressed when she saw that he had a successful career and was also funny. One day, she followed him to a high-end restaurant holding a bouquet of flowers.
Unexpectedly, this meal left her feeling unsatisfied.
The location is reserved in advance, which is normal. The problem is that even the dishes were ordered in advance, and Mr. Li did not ask Cathy for her opinion at all.
As soon as Cathy sat down, Mr. Li asked the waiter to serve the dishes. As soon as the dishes were served, Cathy found that there was only one curry beef dish that she liked, and the others were either too sweet or too spicy, all of which were not to her liking.
But Mr. Li’s explanation was: I chose some of the most popular dishes in this store. How could you not like them?
Cathy felt aggrieved: Who stipulates the dishes that others like to eat, I must like to eat them!
In the end, Mr. Li took the opportunity of going to the bathroom and added a bowl of snow clam dessert on his own initiative. He originally intended to surprise Cathy , but this turned into a surprise. Cathy , who knew the process of making snow clams, felt like vomiting when she saw the snow clams.
Cathy asked Mr. Li, “Have you always treated girls like this when you were in love before?”
Mr. Li said: Yes, I am always so meticulous.
Cathy was speechless.
Later, with the help of an intermediary, Cathy went to Mr. Li’s home. After entering the door, she discovered that Mr. Li was a copy of his father. He was full of male chauvinism and had no say or decision-making power in anything at home. .
It is conceivable that if she married Mr. Li, Cathy would have to endure her whole life just like Li’s mother. Cathy couldn’t do it and chose to break up decisively.
If you have a dependent personality and the other person happens to have a strong and dominant personality, then you are a perfect match and you can marry him. As long as you are willing to make do with everything, you may live a relaxed and worry-free life.
However, if you are mentally independent and have opinions and pursuits, then if you encounter someone with such a controlling personality, it is best to leave like Cathy .
3. “How can someone spend a lifetime with you who is not even willing to accompany you for a delicious meal?”
Eliminating these two extreme types of personality, we have a moderate personality that is neither strong nor dependent.
They will usually discuss the location with you before dining, and fully consider your preferences when ordering. With such people infiltrating into their lives, they will rarely turn away from the shopkeeper or compete with you for power.
However, the above two points alone are not enough at all. When we are looking for someone to get married, we are not interviewing employees, it is almost enough. We must go there because we love each other.
Regarding this, I read an article online. The author said that she had wasted more than a year with a boy who didn’t love her. She unilaterally thought that both of them were of marriageable age and it was time to discuss the details of the marriage. .
However, the boy said nothing about it. Although she was very eager to get married, she couldn’t take the initiative to propose to a boy as a girl, so she asked a colleague who claimed to be a love expert for advice.
A colleague revealed the secret in one word: Whether I love you or not does not need to be carefully scrutinized, it can be seen at the dinner table.
She suddenly realized that over the past year and more, she and her boyfriend had eaten countless meals. Not only had her boyfriend been late several times, but he was also very sloppy when ordering, and he had a tendency to cope with it.
The rhythm of eating was also very disharmonious. She was someone who liked to chew slowly and enjoy her food, while the other person just devoured the food and couldn’t wait to play with his phone after eating. Several times she felt like she was sharing a table with a stranger.
She originally thought that the other person was too busy and tired from work so he was not interested, but if he dated her twice a week, it was true love. In fact, the other party has just reached the marriageable age and wants to find a similar person to fall in love with so that he can give an explanation to his family.
If a person is not willing to accompany you for a good meal, do you still expect him to share the difficulties with you and protect you from the wind and rain?
4. Someone who truly loves you will behave like this at the dinner table
So, what should someone who truly loves you do at the dinner table?
First of all, whenever he makes an appointment with you, he will definitely be punctual and even arrive early;
I am more cautious when meeting you than when meeting clients, and wear the most appropriate clothes, for fear of leaving a bad impression on you;
He will definitely respect your opinion when ordering food and will not impose what he thinks is good on you;
If you chew slowly, he will not gobble it up. Even if he was not used to being rude in the past, during the relationship, he will try to restrain himself for you;
He won’t check his phone frequently because the most important person is already by his side, and any movement on his phone is not important to him;
He will try his best to find some topics you like to communicate with you and will never make the atmosphere cold;
He is very observant, helps you pick up vegetables and soup, and hands you tissues;
He will never put down his bowls and chopsticks until you finish eating;
After eating, even if he doesn’t help you pull out a chair, he will definitely walk behind you and follow you closely;
He will definitely be willing to take you home and discuss the next date with you.
The relationship between two people is both trivial and complicated, but also ordinary. It’s nothing more than sharing an umbrella when we go out and sharing a pot of soup when we go home. It’s gentle and practical.
In the final analysis, an intimate relationship is a relationship of love and sharing. The best state is to be independent of each other and to cherish each other.
Just like that old couple, they are gentle and sweet, and they seem to live together as one. They have endless meals to eat and endless words to say.
I hope you can also find someone who is willing to accompany you to every meal carefully.