“Since ancient times, there has been lingering resentment in the hearts of the affectionate. This endless love has no end.” Love has always been a hot topic, and there is never a shortage of infatuated men and women in this world.

From being strangers to becoming familiar, and then from being familiar to becoming strangers again, breaking up actually has a huge impact on us. The longer the relationship, the greater the impact of the breakup on us. We all need some time to heal ourselves.

Feeling of Emptiness

Psychologist Harries proposed the interpersonal cognitive system. He believes that when lovers go through a stable period in their relationship, they develop a shared system to fill each other’s emotional void. We may forget what we did for the other person, but we will remember everything the other person did for us because it fills our void.

Therefore, when we have deep feelings for each other and have spent a long time together, the end of this relationship will leave both parties feeling a sense of emptiness, whether you are the one who left or the one who was left.

Moreover, it takes some time to fill this sense of emptiness.

Physical and Psychological Pain

Giving up on someone you truly love undoubtedly brings a strong sense of pain. Just like in a drama by Chiung Yao, Yiping sang a song with tears in her eyes to bless Ruping and Shuhuan.

A person distraughtly runs to the edge of a bridge, sits on the high bridge structure with tears streaming down their face, unable to hide the pain in their heart, and ultimately jumps into the river with a heart full of scars.

In addition to the psychological pain, we also inevitably suffer from physical pain. Otherwise, where would idioms describing the pain of a breakup come from? Phrases like “unbearable pain,” “heart-wrenching,” “heartbroken,” and “heartbreaking” are all examples.

Psychologist Kross and others published a research report indicating that when people face a major stressful event, it activates the brain’s regions related to pain control, leading to more physical pain.

How can we get rid of this excruciating pain?

According to research findings, positive emotions counteract negative emotions. Therefore, we need to generate more positive emotions in a short period of time.

We can put ourselves in a completely new environment, such as going on a spontaneous trip, experiencing the lively night markets of Chicago, getting immersed in the beauty of the Grand Canyon, or seeing the picturesque scenery in the South.

Make more friends, get to know other people’s lives, see the diverse aspects of life. We can also release some negative emotions, gather with friends, have a meal together, chat, and vent our frustrations.

Make yourself understand that you are not alone, that there are people who care about you. You can try bungee jumping to experience the physical and psychological thrill. After bungee jumping, the heartbreak may not seem like such a big deal, and living well is what matters most.

Feeling Insecure, Unable to Start a New Relationship

In a relationship, being together day and night, we have become accustomed to the rhythm of life as a couple. However, when you completely give up on the person you deeply love and return to a single life, you will feel a strong sense of instability and insecurity.

Sitting alone at home, it always feels empty, as if the room is missing many things, eerily quiet.

Fingers flipping through the phone aimlessly, looking here and there, a thousand-dollar phone remains silent, as if abandoned by the world, occupied by a sense of emptiness.

Moreover, letting go of an intimate relationship with pain will affect how we view things, our perspectives on love, and our fantasies about love.

Faced with a reality that is completely different from our idealized love, we begin to doubt life and this world. Initially, we all naively believe in true love above all else, but later we understand that even the most loving people can part ways, and most relationships actually have no ending.

Although a breakup can lead to rapid growth, making us less naive and more mature, the failure of the previous relationship makes us afraid of getting close to others, hesitant to start a new relationship, unable to easily trust others, and afraid of repeating the same mistakes.

After ending a relationship, we can immerse ourselves in work, strive to earn recognition from bosses and colleagues; learn a new skill to enhance our abilities.

Take time to read books, watch movies, enrich your life… External factors are uncontrollable, so we cannot seek security from them, we can only make ourselves stronger.

Beautiful love is always so desirable, everyone hopes to meet the right person, but reality is often cruel. Not all love stories have a happy ending; most love stories are filled with regret and pity.

In our lifetime, people come and go, stay and leave. We must learn to say goodbye to others, learn to properly handle the end of an intimate relationship.

A good relationship helps us grow. Even if we part ways, that relationship will still guide us in the right direction.