“A married-out daughter is like spilled water.”

This is how ancient people defined a married-out daughter, believing that once a person gets married, she is no longer a member of her own family, but rather a member of someone else’s family.

With the progress of modern society, this way of thinking has become increasingly distant from us. However, this does not mean that a person can do whatever they want after getting married. In fact, there are some things that should be avoided.

Complaints

When I was a kid, my mom would always tell me:

“If you get married in the future, you’ll no longer have the freedom you have at home!”

Back then, I didn’t understand anything. I thought that getting married was just moving from one home to another, so whether it’s your husband’s family or your own family, it’s all your home, and you can do whatever you want.

But after growing up, I realized that once a woman gets married, her parents’ home is no longer her own home, and she may not have the freedom to do whatever she wants in her husband’s family.

Sometimes women may face some grievances in their husband’s family, such as their in-laws treating them poorly or their husband having an affair. At this time, they may have some complaints and feel that they can’t get understanding from their husband’s family, making their life very difficult.

So some women choose to go back to their parents’ home, taking all their complaints with them. In fact, every woman has this kind of psychological state, but some women won’t say anything.

Because when a woman faces grievances in her husband’s family, she may feel helpless, so she runs back to her parents’ home to vent, maybe just to find temporary comfort. However, she may not think that her complaints can bring trouble to both families.

When I was a kid, I had an aunt who got married and would often come back to her parents’ home to vent. One time, she came back crying, and her brother got very angry, feeling that his sister was being bullied in her husband’s family.

Her brother took a hammer and went to her husband’s family to settle the score, which led to a big fight. In the end, both sides suffered losses.

Actually, this aunt didn’t suffer much in her husband’s family; she just had some quarrels. After quarreling, she would go back to her parents’ home to vent, and her brother finally couldn’t take it anymore, so he went to her husband’s family to settle the score.

So a woman should never bring her complaints back to her parents’ home. When something happens in her husband’s family, she should solve the problem in a reasonable way, rather than constantly going back to her parents’ home to vent, which can bring trouble to both families.

Smart women will never bring their complaints back to their parents’ home; instead, they will solve the problem reasonably. As a grown-up, one should learn to solve problems; if the issue is not serious, there’s no need to let your parents know.

Valuables

In the novel “Fenghua Jie,” there’s a scene where the female lead goes back to her parents’ home, and after she returns, her husband’s family discovers that a valuable item is missing. At this time, people say that they saw the female lead taking a box back to her parents’ home.

This led to a misunderstanding, and in the end, the female lead was searched by her husband’s family, and then her parents’ family came to cause trouble, leading to a big mess.

So sometimes, to avoid suspicion, don’t bring valuable items back to your parents’ home. Even if you don’t bring these items back, people may still misunderstand you. If you do bring them back, the misunderstanding will only get deeper.

Although men nowadays don’t lack money, if you always bring valuable items back to your parents’ home, your husband’s family may think that you’re only after their money.

Moreover, your husband’s family may say something like, “We’ve raised your parents’ family for so many years, and now they’re rich.” If someone says this, you’ll lose face, and it’s because you didn’t think ahead.

So, a smart woman will never bring valuable items back to her parents’ home, not even cheap things, just to avoid suspicion. The key is that these items may not be useful to your parents, but you’ll owe a debt to your husband’s family.

Quarrels

“A harmonious family is the foundation of all prosperity.”

Since ancient times, family conflicts have been a major reason affecting the development of generations.

A very united and harmonious family can bring good luck to everyone.

A family that quarrels all day can bring trouble to others and themselves.

Some women, after getting married, not only quarrel in their husband’s family but also bring the quarrels back to their parents’ home. Sometimes, they see their brother or sister-in-law and can’t stand the other person, so they go back to their parents’ home and start quarreling again.

In many cases, when a woman goes back to her parents’ home, if she does this, she’ll bring the quarrels back to her parents’ home.

In fact, many times, two people get along well after getting married, but if you go back to your parents’ home and stir up trouble, you’ll find that your mom will definitely listen to you, and then your mom will go against your sister-in-law, leading to family conflicts.

A smart woman will never speak ill of her brother’s or sister-in-law in front of her mom. If you do, you’ll only make the family more discordant, and your purpose might just be to take revenge on the other person.

However, you might not expect that your actions will backfire on your parents, and sometimes even affect your brother or sister.