Judging whether a girl wants to chat with you isn’t that simple, is it?
Frequent one or two-word replies like “hmm,” “ok,” “ah,” “fine,” “pretty good”…
Summarizing evaluations, the tone is like politely seeing a guest out: “I haven’t seen it,” “I don’t know,” “enjoying the game,” “you go ahead then…”
Never initiates conversations with you. Even when you try to chat with her, you struggle to come up with anything to say, and she might even ignore you…
But is it really that simple? Well, the answer is a definite no. Just like a question I once encountered from a female fan:
“I’ve been interested in a guy lately, and I think he’s also interested in me. He always initiates conversations with me and shows concern for me.”
“That’s good, any problems?”
“But every time he manages to kill the conversation. For example, he asked me what I was doing, I said watching a Korean drama, and he said ‘then you go ahead and watch it…’”
“Or sometimes he asks me if I don’t like chatting with him. I say no, I just don’t know what to say, and then he says ‘I see,’ and disappears…”
Okay, I’ve been professionally trained, so I definitely won’t burst out laughing. Haha…
In fact, it’s not difficult to find that sometimes you can’t judge whether the other person wants to chat with you based on rigid standards. After all, many times, girls tend to be passive and need to rely on more details for a comprehensive judgment.
It’s not advisable to force a conversation when a girl doesn’t want to chat, but if the other party has the desire to chat, and you miss the opportunity, then you can only watch the relationship gradually cool off.
Here, let’s introduce a concept: the “window period.”
A woman’s heart is like a window, mostly closed, only opening at certain emotional moments or when attracted by you, which is what we call opening her heart.
Sometimes, a woman’s window is open to multiple people, and sometimes it is only open to a specific person.
For instance, when a woman is single and feeling lonely, she will especially want to chat with someone. During this time, her window is open to everyone, and this is known as an “empty window period.”
At times, a woman is only intimate with specific individuals, and this is the window belonging exclusively to that person. This indicates a very strong interest and requires greater attraction.
If the other party’s window is completely closed, it means that you haven’t attracted her at all. This is why some people always find it difficult to continue chatting with a girl, and even end up making her resentful.
The “window period” has two characteristics: timeliness and irreversibility.
Timeliness means that if you don’t take the opportunity to advance the relationship, the window may close. Irreversibility clearly means that once a woman’s window to you is closed, it will be very difficult to open again.
The purpose of our conversation is to enhance mutual feelings and expand this window. Inducing it to open allows us to successfully enter her heart.
How to more effectively judge whether a woman wants to chat with you?
Firstly, women are creatures of high-context culture. In simple terms, the same sentence can have completely different meanings in different situations and moods.
- Initiating the conversation
Girl: “Are you there?”
Boy: “What’s up?”
Girl: “I just wanted to talk to you.”
Boy: …
Being attentive for no reason is a red flag. Whatever a girl says, you’re definitely harboring some purpose when approaching her. Sometimes, the content of the conversation may seem illogical, but she just wants to talk to you.
If a girl isn’t seeking help, then it’s certain that she has a liking for you, and this is a big window period. You can even directly ask her, “Are you bored? I was just about to… want to join?”
- Speed and length of replies
For both men and women, messages from someone they like are always promptly replied to and are lengthy.
When faced with someone they are interested in, they tend to overthink, and quick replies and lengthy messages are a way to avoid being misunderstood. So, the speed and length of the girl’s message replies have a certain chance of indicating her feelings for you.
- Initiating topics and asking about you
This is something most men have experienced, so I won’t elaborate further.
In short, showing curiosity is the start of getting to know you. Women are very clever; when they want to understand someone, they often won’t ask directly. Instead, they ask indirectly through sharing, casually inquiring about your preferences. This is something we men need to learn from. Women are only interested in things they like, and when it comes to things they don’t like, they tend to be indifferent.
- Expressing concern for you
Liking someone will naturally lead to behaviors that show concern for the other person. Just like men actively asking a woman what she’s up to or how she’s been doing, women do the same.
If a woman asks you what you’re up to for no reason, even if she doesn’t have a liking for you, she has a good impression of you.
There are many other similar behaviors. When you have a problem, a woman might ask, “What’s wrong?” “Is everything okay?” “Are you alright?”
Think about how we show concern for women. We even hope she encounters some problems, so we can openly show our concern for her. If a woman is caring for you in this way, she’s already being quite direct. If you can’t see this, then you’re clueless.
- Acting coquettish, cute, or willful
Because they want to rely on men, trust you, and feel secure, they may act willfully to show that they have a liking for you. Sometimes, being coquettish is a way for women to convey their emotions.
However, when faced with excessive demands, consider whether you are being seen as a backup option. Sometimes, she may act like this with anyone who seems decent. If you overthink, it’s easy to expose your neediness, lose the challenge, and end up as a backup option.
- Always agreeing with you
Liking someone means wanting to gain the other person’s attention and approval. Agreeing with the other person or taking the same stance is the best way to get noticed.
If you find that your views always align, and she always agrees with you, even repeating what you’ve said, then, believe me, it’s not just a coincidence. These are her subconscious efforts to stay in accord with you. If this happens consistently, it means she’s actually expecting your approval and endorsement.
In addition, it’s worth noting that sometimes we can be deceived by women who provide false interest behaviors.
What are “false” interest behaviors?
It’s highly likely that a woman is giving you false signals of interest. This especially applies to carefree and open-minded women, who are often misunderstood by many men to be interested in them.
Or maybe she acts this way with any decent man. If you think too much, it’s easy to reveal your neediness, lose your sense of challenge and conquest, and end up as a backup option.
For instance, many women like to seek wealthy and gullible men, often referred to as ATMs, to lure them into investing using “false” interest behaviors.
In the end, you may not even have touched her hand, and end up blaming yourself for something you did wrong that made the woman dissatisfied. It’s not the woman’s fault. If you insist on being the wealthy gullible “ATM,” then don’t blame others for taking the money.
Therefore, we can use multiple interest indicators to comprehensively judge the authenticity of a woman’s interest. Don’t be eager to invite and escalate the relationship upon seeing a small window and interest indicators. This is very immature. You need to accumulate a few times at least. You often see male fans being deceived on social networking sites for this reason.
How can we clearly judge the authenticity of a woman’s interest behaviors?
There is a better way to identify the genuineness of a woman’s interest in you, and that is through a compliance test, or CT for short.
This test is to ask a woman to do something for you, like calling you “brother,” praising you, singing a song, telling a story, or asking her to wake you up the next day or letting her follow your arrangement for a date, and so on.
A compliance test is to assess the other person’s degree of compliance. Since it’s a test, both passing and failing are possibilities.
If the woman fails, just change the topic or ignore it reasonably. If she passes, there will definitely be a significant emotional surge, and you’ll gain her approval. You can then appropriately reward and encourage her, making her willingly continue to comply.
There are many compliance tests, but it’s best to use them once there is a certain level of attraction. Without attraction, the likelihood of failing is very high, and you should be aware of that. In that case, there’s no need to test.
Actually, checking someone’s background is also a compliance test, which is why you shouldn’t check someone’s background in the early stages of chatting. Because of insufficient attraction, it’s easy for a woman to refuse to answer.
In simpler terms, it’s about whether a woman will accept your requests willingly.
If she’s not interested in you, she’ll naturally think you’re seeking value from her, which is impolite. Of course, in the later stages of chatting, checking each other’s backgrounds can increase mutual trust and a sense of security, which is essentially different.
In actuality, if the interest behavior is fake, it won’t last long. Even if a girl shows false interest, it proves she doesn’t dislike you; otherwise, she wouldn’t want to get close to you.
So, don’t be upset if you fail the test. The less you care about it, the more the girl will overlook it.