If someone betrays you, even if you’ve decided to end the relationship, it doesn’t just end in a minute. Most people choose to either maintain the relationship or try to salvage it after facing betrayal.

This brings up the question of how to interact with your partner after experiencing betrayal.

It may seem like a simple question, but those who have been through betrayal understand that it’s a challenging reality to deal with.

When a marriage encounters betrayal, trust decreases, making sincere communication difficult. You are faced with someone who has hurt you, but whom you also can’t let go of, and perhaps rely on the most at this moment. This conflicting feeling of love and hate affects your behavior, making it hard to find the right approach to interact with them.

Moreover, with an unclear future, it’s tough to strike a balance in how you treat them. If you are too kind, you fear they might underestimate the hurt they caused you. If you are too harsh, you worry they will leave for good.

As a result, interactions can suddenly become awkward, distant, and even progress from sharing everything to having nothing to say.

Many people who have experienced emotional betrayal often ask, “How do I interact with my partner?”

My advice can be summarized in three points:

First, maintain your self-respect.

Don’t degrade yourself by making unnecessary sacrifices out of fear of losing the relationship. Begging or pleasing your partner in this way is unlikely to salvage the relationship; instead, it may make them disregard you even more. Lowering your own value will lead to being looked down upon.

Also, don’t let the betrayal further deteriorate the relationship. If you’ve decided to end it, then it doesn’t matter. But if you’re unsure or want to salvage the relationship, control your emotions and avoid harming the relationship. Focus on fulfilling your part in the marriage.

Second, treat your marital relationship as a friendship.

This is an effective method worth trying.

In essence, a marital relationship is a social one, so it’s suitable to approach it during this phase as you would a friendship.

In a friendship, you still care for each other and maintain harmony, but you don’t sacrifice your own feelings or force yourself into discomfort.

This adjustment involves a certain level of social “acting.” The purpose of this “acting” is not insincerity but to create a more harmonious social relationship. Just like how we interact with colleagues we may not particularly like—politely and amicably, without causing offense, maintaining a cordial atmosphere.

Of course, for those who are straightforward and black-and-white in character, this adjustment can be challenging.

Third, prioritize your feelings and respect yourself.

To be happy, you must respect your own feelings. Many people maintain relationships by sacrificing their feelings, leading to surface-level harmony but personal unhappiness—the classic case of “not knowing how to say no.”

Therefore, amidst the adjustment in the new relationship dynamics post-betrayal, consider prioritizing your feelings, respecting and protecting them. Instead of constantly thinking about the other person’s feelings ahead of your own—especially when you’re the one hurt at the moment—focus on improving your situation before sacrificing further.

It might feel uncomfortable to start prioritizing yourself in decision-making. For instance, you might be used to thinking from the other person’s perspective and handling things their way. But now, it’s time to consider your preferences first.

You might worry that if you act according to your wishes, it might worsen the situation. But remember, if you had catered to their satisfaction before and they still betrayed you, is it worth it to continue sacrificing for them?

More importantly, those who respect and protect their feelings take charge in a relationship; conversely, those who sacrifice for the other’s sake often end up being passive.

So, frequently ask yourself during interactions, “What do I like to do? What don’t I like to do?” Prioritize yourself—that’s following your heart. If your partner decides to end things because you prioritize yourself, then perhaps that marriage ending isn’t a loss. Be grateful to them for the courage to end it, as staying in such a relationship wouldn’t be commendable anyway.