Without companionship, there is no need to talk about feelings!
Yesterday, one of my brothers told me about his recent mood. He said that his best friend met after many years. In addition to repeatedly recounting the experience of being together, he could not find a topic and chose to remain silent. Wow, I My friend said that they were blood-blooded brothers who made three obeisances and nine kowtows. They agreed that they could not be born in the same year, the same month and the same day, but they hoped to die in the same year, the same month and the same day. How could they have such a tacit understanding in silence and awkwardness after not seeing each other for several years? think! No! Pass!
So, he guessed that his friend was a slut, that his situation had improved, that he had forgotten who he was as a good friend, etc. In short, he felt very lost. He lamented the changes in human relationships and the changing world. He described to me over and over again how deep and deep their friendship was at that time. He didn’t understand how strange it could be.
I’m telling you, that’s nothing. I have a good gay friend from China who we have known each other for 15 years. At one time, we were each other’s spiritual trash cans, but due to a misunderstanding, we got into a fight and we became friends from then on. Strange road. Two years later, I got back in touch through a friend, and found that we fell silent several times, and we were still talking about things before the fight. It was then that I realized that once the mental trash can and hotline were shut down, all the previous chat records would be lost. Deletion and reopening need to start from the original encounter.
So I asked him like an emotional expert: Your friend is silent, why can’t you break the silence and take the initiative to tell him what you want to tell him. My friend discovered that he also felt that there was nothing new to share except his past experiences. He felt that to talk about his current experience, he needed a lot of foreshadowing to make the other party understand and relate to it, so he was too lazy to talk. It turns out that long separation between friends is the reason for the estrangement.
What are friends? Your past is stored in his memory. If each other goes on a new journey, the mission of friends will end. There will inevitably be new friends to warm up the new journey, unless you and I can always grow together. Putting aside experience and growth, talking about the friendship between friends is like a moon in the mirror. Illusive friendship cannot withstand the weighing of time.
Whether they are friends, it is actually the same between lovers. What defeated us was not our mutual alienation and betrayal, but your experience, in which I had no part.
The once popular novel “Life” seems to tell the story of how modern Chen Shimei and Gao Jialin betrayed his childhood sweetheart Liu Qiaozhen. Looking back now, after entering the city, Gao Jialin began to read and write articles about the spiritual dialogue that literary schools longed for, but Liu Qiaozhen could still only talk about how many pigs her family had laid, who in the village was playing with who’s shoes, etc. This is the out-of-sync growth of each other.
The so-called “I can participate in your experience” does not mean that you write articles and I have to walk side by side, but that I witness and participate in your life day and night.
I often think that if Mr. Lu Yao re-adapts this story and lets Liu Qiaozhen follow Gao Jialin into the city, their fate may be another copy. The same story goes. In the ordinary world, Tian Runye did not know her husband Li Xiangqian at all because she had Sun Shaoan in her heart. She excluded Li Xiangqian from her world. However, when the two experienced life and death at the same time, they discovered that they were facing each other day and night. It turned out that Li Xiang Xiang understood her so well and was so full of masculine charm. Runye happily concluded that Li Xiang Xiang was his most suitable partner!
Life is like this, love at first sight and mutual affection are just the beginning of friendship, and the continuation of friendship is always accompanied by each other’s experience and common growth.
Hu Shih and Jiang Dongxiu are the most typical example of a mismatch. Hu Shih’s passion, experience of studying abroad, profound knowledge and exposure to the environment are not the same as Jiang Dongxiu, who has bound feet, does not know a lot of Chinese characters, is traditional and conservative. Grasshopper on a rope. But it was Hu Shi’s lifelong companion. In his later years, Hu Shi was extremely fond of Jiang Dongxiu’s teachings and his life in the market. He played mahjong with a few idlers and never tired of mediating minor conflicts between neighbors. However, the strong Jiang Dongxiu liked to write in lower regular script and meet in the literary circle. Three friends and six friends. The so-called companionship and long-term friendship here are the participation of soybeans and black beans poured together. If you can’t tell them apart, it is the strongest friendship!
I have accompanied you on a journey throughout your life, which is the normal state of friendship. If the love between two people lasts for a long time, it really needs to be day and night!
I have a little brother who is going to Beijing to develop his career. The couple worked together to let his virtuous wife stay in his hometown temporarily to provide material security. When he makes a career outside, he can pick her up and enjoy family happiness. When his mother in the pastoral area heard this decision, she firmly rejected it: We must go together and stay together.
His daughter-in-law didn’t understand, so the mother-in-law secretly pinched her daughter-in-law’s thigh: “If you wait too long, the day lily will get cold!” Mom said that when the quilt is cold, it can keep you warm, but when your feelings are cold, you won’t be able to keep warm!
I have attended two class reunions. Most of the class reunions in the sports school talked about how you helped your friends at your own expense and the loyalty you had in the past. Most of the class reunions in the university talked about who had dated whom and who was a love rival. Wait, in addition to the classmates who have not seen each other for more than ten years, even if they were once strong, they all submissively turned into awkward silence.
Friendship is really a gap. Any friendship that is buried over time will be filled up to what it was before we met.
In addition to spiritual dialogue and understanding, human friendship is actually more about companionship in life. Companionship is more affectionate than love, which means that you participate in my life throughout the whole process. This is also the real reason why most long-distance relationships end in vain. One of my former colleagues, his wife has been abroad for ten years. Although she has not been divorced and is still waiting to be with her when she gets old, everyone knows that everyone has his own lover. Even if we can hold hands again, it will be a second cooperation and starting to work together again.
Friendship is the same between friends and couples. A moderate distance can produce beauty. Beyond this distance, there is no beauty at all. If the distance is too large, happiness will be missed!
My goddess Sanmao said it best: If friendship does not fall into dressing, eating, sleeping, counting money, participating, and witnessing these real things in life, it will not last long.
True friendship means not being nervous, and being able to burp, fart, pick your ears, and have a runny nose in front of him without any worries.
To put it bluntly, relationships are a process of habituation and participation. Couples who have been quarreling all their lives are rarely separated. On the contrary, couples who respect each other as guests may break up and separate after a serious disagreement! If the love lasts for a long time, it must be done day and night!
Friendship itself is the interaction, dependence, mutual pleasure and complementation between two people. A grasshopper on a rope can always appreciate the true meaning of staying together through thick and thin and helping each other better than two butterflies!
Friendship without shared experiences is not as solid as a dandelion. It will be gone when the wind blows.