I’m a girl, and I’ve been seeing my blind date for a month now. I thought I could develop some feelings over time, so I decided to give it a try. But I still don’t feel anything and I’m torn about whether to just call it off.
As far as I know, he comes from a good family background, and people speak highly of him and his parents. Our families live close by, just a 10-minute drive away. Whenever it rains, he comes to pick me up and drop me off at work. It just so happens that this month has been particularly rainy.
During the first week of knowing each other, we went on a date, went go-karting, had dinner, and visited a blueberry farm (he didn’t tell me about these plans in advance, maybe he wanted to surprise me? I thought we were just going out for dinner). He even gave me a sports watch (I refused to take it because we had only known each other for a week, and it didn’t feel right to accept such an expensive gift. Plus, he paid for everything that day, so I felt even more awkward accepting it. In the end, he insisted, so I took it, but I haven’t opened it yet). Before this, one evening he asked me to play a game, but I said I wasn’t feeling well. The next day, he brought me a large durian (I mentioned that I liked it when we first met).
On the evening of our first date, I told him that I’m not materialistic and asked him not to spend money unnecessarily.
On the second weekend, as a return gesture, and conveniently close to his birthday, I bought him a Braun shaver. This time, we played video games and had a meal. The weather wasn’t great, it was foggy and damp, so I suggested heading back home instead of strolling outside.
On the third weekend, it was his birthday. In the afternoon, we went hiking, and in the evening, I treated him to a hot pot dinner. This time, he bought me a piece of gold jewelry in advance, but I refused it because it was too expensive, and our relationship hadn’t been established for long. Despite his insistence, I didn’t accept it. We finished dinner quite early, and on the way back, I suggested stopping by my house (actually, my dad wanted to meet him. My mom had already met him when he came to pick me up and said he seemed nice). He wasn’t keen on the idea at first, but after my repeated persuasion, he agreed. I had a negative mindset, thinking that my family might not like him once they met him, and then I could call off the relationship. I knew it wasn’t right to think that way, but I wanted to take a chance. However, my parents and my younger brother all said he was nice.
He was very willing, and during the time we’ve been together, others have tried to introduce him to potential partners, but he’s not interested. I’ve also heard from others that he used to be very picky and had seen many people but hadn’t found the right one. A matchmaker had been trying to introduce us for a year, but I wasn’t in a hurry at the time, and I didn’t like the idea of someone much older than me (he’s five years older). I thought he wouldn’t be interested in me since he was so picky, so I didn’t respond.
This matter isn’t just pressure from my parents, but also from my aunts and uncles, urging me not to miss out on this opportunity. They say he has a job, good conditions, lives close by, and treats me well, so that should be enough, and I shouldn’t be so picky. This has put a lot of pressure on me. After our first date, I told my mom that it didn’t feel quite right, and we should call it off. She immediately became upset. After the contact details were exchanged, she would ask me every day if we had talked, and it was really bothering me. This time, the pressure is unprecedented.
To be honest, I don’t look forward to going out with him every time, and I even have a sense of resistance. I feel like we don’t have much in common, and we rarely chat. After a couple of sentences, I feel like I can’t continue the conversation, and it seems like we don’t connect. Maybe it’s because I don’t like him very much, so I rarely take the initiative to chat with him. Whether we’re in the car or walking, we don’t talk much. I admit that I’m a bit introverted, and I don’t usually initiate conversations with people I don’t know well. I’ll follow along when they talk, but with people I’m close to, I can’t stop talking.
In fact, I’ve given him some signals that we might not be a good match. Not long after we met, one evening he asked me to go for a drive, and while we were out, I told him that I might not like him as much as he likes me. I also asked him if he thought we were suitable, and after hesitating, he said we were a good match. When I asked him what he liked about me, he hesitated and said he liked my type. When I asked what type, he said the type he had feelings for. So, feelings are important, but what can I do if I don’t have them? During this time, he could also sense that I wasn’t very enthusiastic about him, but he didn’t bring up ending things, and I don’t know why.
Last night, when he came to pick me up from work, he said he wanted to go out for dinner. If he had told me in advance, I might have found an excuse to decline. I suggested having something simple, as I wasn’t very hungry. He suggested going to LD (name of a mall), but we ended up passing it, and I didn’t ask why we didn’t go there. We were close to JSH, so I asked if we were going there, and he said yes. However, we drove past it. I asked him where we were going, and he said I’d find out soon. I kept asking him where we were going and urged him to tell me quickly. I asked if it was just the two of us, and he lied, saying there were seven or eight people. I couldn’t tell, so I asked why he didn’t tell me in advance (I didn’t want to meet his friends or family yet). Eventually, when he saw that I was anxious, he admitted that it was just the two of us. After dinner, I could see that something was off with him, so I asked if he was upset, and he said he wasn’t. When we got home, I texted him to ask if something was wrong and if he wanted to talk about it. He said it was because I didn’t accept the jewelry, and he felt very awkward. I had to explain it to him again.
I know I’m wasting time, emotions, and it’s not fair to him, but I’m really afraid of my mom. I can’t imagine how she’ll react if I tell her it’s not working out. It’s so frustrating, it’s driving me crazy. Can someone tell me what to do?