This is something all matchmaking agencies won’t tell you: the fundamental reason for your single status is that you don’t know how to date, not the lack of suitable people.

Think about it: in your past experiences, have you ever found yourself really liking someone, but they didn’t reciprocate? This is because you didn’t understand what they needed or how to satisfy them.

Have you ever been in a confirmed relationship and repeatedly made mistakes, stepping on landmines, leading to a breakup?

Most of the time, you’ve liked someone (whether you know them personally or were introduced by a matchmaker) and even started a relationship, but due to not knowing how to date, how to judge the good and bad in the opposite sex, and how to meet their needs, it ultimately resulted in a breakup.

If you can’t understand these things, you’ll never be able to solve this problem, even if you’re introduced to tens or hundreds of people.

Fortunately, humans have the ability to reflect. Through continuous self-reflection and learning from failures, you can rely on experience and intuition to make the right moves at the right time in your next relationship.

However, the time frame for this varies for everyone. Some people understand it in 2 years, while others don’t get it even after 4 or 5 years.

Matchmakers don’t teach you these things because most of them don’t understand them either. They’ll introduce you to someone, and then it’s up to you to make it work. But the success rate of this approach is predictably low. You can’t expect to be 100% satisfied with every introduction from a matchmaker, as exceptional people are rare.

It’s a bit like leveling up in a game: from having no suitable people (level 0) to dying in conversations (level 1) to being ghosted (level 2), dealing with breakups (level 3), considering marriage (level 4), and finally married life (level 5). Ultimately, it takes a lot of time to reach the highest level.

However, there’s a simpler method: getting the cheat codes, knowing what to do at each stage, and significantly reducing the time it takes to reach the highest level.

Based on my observations of thousands of single people, being single is never due to the lack of interested and suitable candidates. 100% of single people repeatedly make mistakes and step on landmines in the process, leading to a breakdown, and sometimes intentionally flipping the car in a moment of impulse. Then, they regret it and want to reconcile. But the result is that the car tells you, “Stop driving, get out, and let an experienced driver take over.”

Let’s look at a real case to illustrate how difficult it is to date and how exhausting it can be to be in a relationship:

Not too long ago, I was in a relationship with a guy, or rather, I was in contact with him for about three months. During this time, he treated me like his girlfriend, but I didn’t respond positively. He wanted to introduce me to his parents and friends, but I refused. I was aloof towards him, partly because I wasn’t sure if I genuinely liked him, and partly because I felt it was too soon to meet his parents and friends. I thought I would consider becoming part of his social circle only when I was completely sure about him. He seemed sensitive and introverted to me. There were things he couldn’t express, and I always felt that he couldn’t meet my expectations. Both of us found the relationship exhausting, so I suggested we part ways. It’s been over a month since we broke up, but I find myself constantly thinking about him. Should I try to win him back?

My analysis:

This is a typical relationship. If you don’t understand the real dynamics between men and women, there’s no reason for the next relationship to be any better. In just 300 words, there were 7 mistakes made. Let’s analyze them one by one.

1. The woman doesn’t know what she wants, which makes her unsure about her feelings for the man.
    

2. The man wants to move the relationship forward and actively suggests introducing her to his parents. The woman’s refusal is the wrong approach and a landmine.
    

3. The woman doesn’t understand the needs of men in a relationship, and she hasn’t considered what she can bring to the man. She’s only focused on her own interests, leading to an inevitable breakup.
    

4. The woman wants to think things through before making a decision. However, every decision comes with pros and cons. If she agrees, she doesn’t know if she will regret it later. If she doesn’t agree, the loss is that the man might not give her enough time to think, and he might leave immediately. So, every choice comes with its own cost.

5. The woman thinks there are things the man won’t express. Firstly, the woman has always been aloof, so how could the man possibly express everything? Secondly, men are genetically and socially less expressive, and their ability to express is much lower than that of women.
    

6. The woman thinks the man can’t meet her expectations. This is clearly due to watching too many romantic dramas, and her expectations have become unrealistic. Most men don’t know how to date, let alone understand you completely after just a few months. These expectations are exceptionally high.
    

7. The woman initiated the breakup and now wants to reconcile, which is immature. Making so many mistakes makes the prospect of reconciliation almost impossible.

These are just the tip of the iceberg. The more mature and exceptional a man is, the higher his expectations of the opposite sex. Let alone making 7 mistakes, making just one is enough to make the other person pass on you.

So, 100% of single people are single because they don’t know how to date.