A friend asked me, “I can’t seem to let go of the betrayal by my partner. What can I do to completely forget about this experience?”

Unfortunately, my response to this is: Once you’ve gone through emotional betrayal, that experience can never be forgotten.

So, any attempt to completely erase this experience is idealistic and impractical.

This principle is similar to emotional processing. When facing emotions, we can’t resist them; we can only control and resolve them.

Memories are tricky. Generally, happy memories are easy to forget, while painful memories are hard to erase.

Therefore, memories of betrayal will likely linger. They can suddenly resurface with a single trigger, plunging you back into pain just like a sharp sword piercing your heart.

When memories resurface, don’t resist, as resistance only makes it stronger. A simple psychological experiment proves this: try not to think of an elephant for 10 seconds after focusing on it for 30 seconds. You’ll find it challenging.

So, when painful memories return, learn to face and accept them. Why? Because memories can be triggered involuntarily, and memories of betrayal are always painful.

Facing these memories calmly is crucial because memories cannot be controlled subjectively. Don’t blame yourself for brief stabs of memory-induced pain.

Furthermore, distracting yourself is an effective way to let go of painful memories. Focus on something else to break free from the memory’s grip.

But remember not to indulge in self-destructive behaviors. Many fall into this trap unconsciously, replaying the painful memories repeatedly, leading to emotional self-harm.

To overcome the sting of these memories, the key is to let them pass quickly. Like in the story of a city preparing for a flood, sometimes the best way is to let the floodwaters flow through.

In conclusion, we can’t stop emotions or painful memories from coming, but we can make sure they pass swiftly.