When we talk about “troublesome,” we mean understanding how to build a relationship, not just causing trouble for the sake of it.
No one likes to be troubled, so don’t get it wrong.
Many women nowadays pride themselves as independent modern women, able to do everything on their own without bothering men.
But sometimes, when the boundaries are too clear, the relationship becomes distant, and over time, the other person may feel like they are no longer needed.
He’ll feel less significant, thinking he’s dispensable because you can handle everything on your own, so why does he need to be by your side?
By not troubling the other person, they won’t have the opportunity to give.
Unconditional love is demonstrated through giving. You treat him well simply because he is who he is.
You don’t feel tired, and you enjoy doing this, so that both of you can feel the love.
Being too independent can lead to growing apart.
There’s a saying that we often hear:
“If you don’t trouble each other, there won’t be a relationship.
Good relationships are built on being willing to go through troubles.”
Even if you have a raincoat, he can still hold the umbrella for you.
You have a raincoat, but he brings an umbrella. Deliberately walking separately would be cold, so why not let him hold the umbrella for you for a while?
This is a metaphor. You may be very capable, but you should still find opportunities to let the other person show off a bit.
It’s a feeling of mutual need. When a person feels needed, they will better sense their own value.
Of course, you can still have value even if no one needs you; this is just an added bonus.
I’ve heard of someone keeping a dog for the reason that it makes them feel needed.
In psychology, there’s a rule:
“Many times, it’s not when you help others that they like you, but when they help you, that makes them like you. It’s the feeling of being needed.”
Women in marriage shouldn’t shoulder everything on their own. You may think you’re giving, but you’re actually damaging the marriage.
The more you understand how to trouble a man, the more he will understand how to love you better.
You shouldn’t be too understanding, or else it becomes taken for granted.
Nowadays, there’s a lot of emphasis on women loving themselves, and that’s how it should be.
If you give too much, you won’t be cherished.
People actually prefer being the one who gives. The more he gives to you, the more weight you hold in his heart.
You might say, “But he doesn’t want to give at all!”
Then why are you with someone like that? How can there be love with someone who doesn’t want to give at all? You might have chosen the wrong person.
Because you’re too independent, and she needs me.
Many people cheat, and the reason is surprisingly that she’s too independent, but the other woman is vulnerable and needs me.
This is an example of men liking to be troubled. When independent women hear this, they often find it laughable.
But human nature is like this. In order to build confidence, he has to seek recognition outside, and of course, cheating is absolutely wrong.
In the end, relationships are a fluid state. If you’re good to me, I’ll be good to you, and it will get better and better.
If you’re not good to me, I won’t be good to you, and then we’re just parallel lines.
If I’m always good to you and you never return the favor, of course, it will be unbalanced.
When troubling a man goes too far, and you do nothing at all, problems will arise. Before long, he’ll say he’s tired and start assigning tasks to you.
Between people, it’s all about “each other,” and everyone seeks to be cherished.
Everyone hopes that their efforts are valuable, and then they will be willing to keep going.
Because it makes them feel good inside.
For example, if you cook and your family enjoys it, even if it’s hard work, you won’t feel tired, you’ll just feel satisfied.
But if your efforts are criticized, then your efforts will feel worthless, and soon you won’t be able to enjoy the food he cooks.
Troubling each other, giving to each other, that’s the happiest relationship.