Today, I will discuss three divorce stories and see what insights we can gain from them.

1 : Career-Oriented Man + Homemaker

This is a common case: you were college classmates, dated for many years, and finally got married. The husband pursued his career while the wife became a homemaker, supporting the family.

As the family was still not fully established, the husband’s career developed faster than the family.

Because you wanted to focus on your career, you didn’t have children and prioritized career over family.

While focusing on your career, you met a woman who seemed like a soulmate, but she was just a business partner and your subordinate.

You thought highly of your subordinate and ended up having an extramarital affair.

Some men believe that their capable subordinates should be kept close with emotions.

When the extramarital affair happened, the wife couldn’t bear it, asked for a divorce, and even though you pleaded, it didn’t work.

“Sorry, that’s just my personality. You said we couldn’t divorce, you said you would love me forever and not cheat, but now you did. I’m done with you, I want a divorce,” and so you really divorced.

From this divorce, we see that the marriage had a foundation of love, but neglected the development and growth of the marriage and the individual development of the couple.

By magnifying the extramarital affair, we believe that a marriage should last forever, and if there’s an affair, it means a breakdown of feelings, and we firmly advocate for divorce, which is an inappropriate approach.

Marriage, like a company, faces crises. Just like a popular product, marriages can also wither. If the popular product is gone, will your company shut down? No, you will produce the next popular product.

When your marriage reaches a bottleneck, faces a crisis, we should find ways to resolve it and then enter the next stage of the relationship. Marriage is about constant iteration and upgrading.

What does marriage ultimately pursue? Is it easy to find a soulmate? Even if you go through a lot to find one, she may not be a soulmate.

A soulmate isn’t found but cultivated through hardships and challenges. Otherwise, it’s not a soulmate, just a impulsive partner.

2 : Divorced Woman + Divorced Man

Both of you are divorcees without children, so you got married.

Soon after marriage, you got pregnant, and then your mother-in-law got involved, leading to conflicts between the two of you.

The mother-in-law believed that despite her son being divorced and childless, he should marry a better woman, not a divorced one.

Women making it hard for other women, objectifying them, and being staunch supporters of male dominance are common occurrences.

The mother-in-law couldn’t stand the woman, leading to conflicts and ultimately divorce.

From this divorce, we see that remarriage is difficult for families and women.

Remarried families with their own children make it even harder for both women and men.

It’s difficult because everyone is on guard, everyone has their territory, keeps a part for themselves, and has distrust. Love isn’t pure, and there are various calculations.

When conflicts arise, as a man and a son, do you let your mother and wife fight it out?

As a man and a son, you should protect your wife and mother.

So, how do you protect your wife and mother?

You protect your mother by taking her out of the battlefield, not by supporting her to continue the fight.

In a marriage full of wars, we should keep parents and children away from them and not involve them.

Do you think women are too weak, so you give them a sword, then a rocket, and if that’s not enough, an atomic bomb? Is this what you believe?

Many men protect their mothers by giving them an atomic bomb to kill their wives.

Many men don’t know how to protect their mothers in the mother-in-law relationship.

Protecting your mother means getting her out of the war, “Don’t join my family.”

Protecting your wife means supporting her and driving the intruders away.

Even though she’s your mother, you should know she’s an outsider.

When we enter a marriage, we must consider how to handle our relationships.

Can you fully accept yourself in your relationships? Can you unite with your husband? Can you respect your mother-in-law?

These are the basic principles of our relationships.

3 : Career-Oriented Woman + Timid Man

After the divorce, the career-oriented woman raised her child on her own and thought she was doing fine alone.

She hadn’t considered remarriage, but somehow she met a rather timid man, a weak man.

This weak man was able to help the assertive woman manage the household, do chores, and take care of the child, so they got together.

On the surface, this marriage seemed fine, but in reality, as a strong woman, could she truly respect and honor this weak, unaccomplished, stay-at-home man? No, she couldn’t.

Could their beliefs align? With such huge differences, how could they handle clashes without any buffer?

She wouldn’t respect him, she wouldn’t acknowledge him, she was just using him.

In their time together, this stay-at-home, mediocre man would eventually feel suppressed and that his efforts weren’t worth it.

“I help you take care of the child, I help you manage the household. When you come back after working outside, you look dead tired. I want to be intimate with you, but you’re too tired and unwilling,” a marriage like this couldn’t be sustained.

In this divorce, we see how we view roles in marriage, how we define roles and allocation, and how we determine strength and weakness between the two individuals.

Although these marriages all ended in divorce, they all ended up dating again.