In the movie “Days of Being Wild,” there is a line:

“I don’t know how many women I will like in my life, and I don’t know which one I will like until the end.”

This line captures the inner thoughts of many men, who often want to have it all.

It’s been said:

“Men find it easy to say ‘I love you’ because it’s often thoughtless; however, for women, saying ‘I love you’ is rare and requires careful consideration.”

In marriage, knowing how to better utilize the selfish person, I will live well no matter who I am with.

For thousands of years, traditional culture has constrained people’s thinking, making them believe that marriage is for a lifetime, and women should remain faithful.

However, marriage is not a shackle; a person’s life often requires freedom.

Just like in a poem:

“Life is precious, love is even more valuable. If for freedom’s sake, both can be sacrificed.”

We should be sincere but also think about ourselves. As a woman, wherever and whenever, we should be independent and free.

By better utilizing selfishness in marriage, we can ensure a good life with anyone.

Love Yourself More

Zhang Xiaoxian said:

“The love and memories a man gives to a woman are like tea stains in a cup, she is reluctant to wipe them off. For the sake of these stains, she continues to be a cup, not realizing that not all stains are good and will only deplete a woman’s beauty.”

Women must love themselves more. If a man leaves, a woman should not cling to him. Sometimes, learning to let go of others means letting go of oneself.

Life is short; we shouldn’t waste it on anyone.

Sometimes, in relationships:

Heartless people hurt others, while loving people hurt themselves.

We should be loving but also love ourselves more.

I have a friend who, after getting married, was not happy because she placed too much importance on her husband, thinking she couldn’t live without him.

By prioritizing her husband too much, she ended up revolving her life around him, only to face disappointment and betrayal in the end.

Sometimes, when we give our all, the other person may not appreciate it. As Zhang Ailing said:

“From the ashes, a flower blooms.”

How many women have regretted or lost because of this statement?

Women often stoop low in relationships, thinking they can win someone’s heart by being submissive. They believe sacrificing themselves will lead to a happy marriage.

But when something or someone has to go, no matter how hard you try to hold on, you will still lose them.

So, love yourself more. This way, no matter who we are with, we won’t be miserable because we have our own love. As long as we care for ourselves, even if others don’t treat you well, as long as you still value yourself, at least you will be okay.

In love, prioritize yourself. This applies to marriage too. Don’t always think a man is your everything. A woman with dreams will learn to be selfish and treat herself well.

Be Selfish When Investing in Yourself

Author Bi Shumin lived in extreme cold in Tibet for over ten years and achieved success upon her return.

Sometimes in life, you have to endure hardships, just like Bi Shumin did in Tibet. She learned a lot and strengthened her willpower during those ten years.

I have always seen Bi Shumin as a role model for women. It doesn’t mean we have to go to a freezing place like Tibet, but we should set small goals to improve ourselves.

Marriage is not the ultimate destination for a person, and love does not define a woman entirely. Don’t think that after marriage, you should revolve around your family or obey your husband.

Sometimes, you need to invest in yourself to maintain long-term attractiveness. Men will treat you better when you take care of yourself.

Bi Shumin said:

“I spent ten years in Tibet without using cosmetics or having romantic love, but it was worth it.”

Some women don’t prioritize relationships or wear makeup to please men, yet they earn respect from others.

Some women think being beautiful is enough to have a good life and marry well. However, smart women don’t think this way; they invest in themselves.

You may improve your family’s situation through manipulation, but compared to working hard on yourself, it’s insignificant.

In a good life, respect is crucial in marriage. When you spare some time for yourself, improve yourself, men will respect you, and your position in marriage will be elevated.

Be Selfish When It Comes to Money

A friend told me:

“My uncle divorced his second wife. They were married for over ten years, and when they divorced, he gave her only one hundred thousand dollars.”

My friend said that the second wife was a homewrecker, but she loved her husband, and they had a good marriage.

After quitting her job, she devoted herself to taking care of her husband. However, when the uncle fell for someone else, they divorced, and in the legal battle, she received only a fraction of his assets.

Imagine, a hundred thousand dollars nowadays is barely enough for a dowry, like giving alms.

Therefore, women should be a bit selfish when it comes to money in marriage. Sometimes, don’t feel sorry for a man’s money; otherwise, others will spend it, and you won’t be comfortable.

Ouyang said:

“A woman’s resilience can withstand the upheaval of misfortune. Disasters that can make men collapse and disappear seem to awaken the full strength of fragile women, making them brave, almost noble.

There is nothing more touching than seeing a woman who was once delicate and dependent, suddenly standing tall and supporting her unfortunate husband in adversity, unbreakable.”

However, women must prioritize themselves. If a woman always puts others first, no matter how resilient she is, she will end up losing.

In life, we should be kind, but we should also have our boundaries and goals.

As the saying goes:

“If you don’t stand up for yourself, no one else will.”

Whether in relationships or life, we should consider ourselves first. Some things are tolerable, but some are not.