We often believe in loving someone wholeheartedly, advocating for complete devotion in love. But is this really the right approach? In my opinion, love also needs boundaries.

At a recent class reunion, I met Xiao Qiu, who was once crazy in love. Seeing her show up alone, her face no longer exuding the youthful glow it once had, was quite a contrast.

A male classmate jokingly asked, “Where’s Jiang Cheng? Why didn’t you both come together?”

Xiao Qiu helplessly replied, “We broke up long ago.”

The love that was once envied by everyone eventually came to an end. Who would have thought it would end one day?

Love Requires Boundaries

Jiang Cheng and Xiao Qiu were each other’s first love. During college, Xiao Qiu woke up early every day to bring breakfast to her boyfriend, helped him skip class, did his homework for him, and even sneaked into the boys’ dorm to tidy up his room. Everyone envied Jiang Cheng for having such a girlfriend.

Jiang Cheng also treated Xiao Qiu well, being thrifty to buy gifts, taking her to meet his parents. In our era of secretive “young love,” where relationships were kept hidden from parents, his family had already accepted her, treating her as a future daughter-in-law early on.

As a typical perfect girlfriend, Xiao Qiu believed that love should be given without reservation. Only through wholehearted devotion could a beautiful outcome be achieved.

However, reality often contradicts expectations. Two years after graduation, they chose to break up. Not because of infidelity, but because both felt the relationship was too exhausting. The prolonged adjustment period did not bring them closer; instead, conflicts increased, continuing would only lead to more pain.

Xiao Qiu said, “I used to think love should be passionate, but when faced with daily life, without the excitement, giving 100% without equal returns is just too tiring.”

Not all relationships have a happy ending, not all genuine feelings are cherished.

For most girls, giving their all in love is a form of emotional blackmail to boys. They don’t see it as an expression of love but rather as not knowing how to love oneself. Girls who lack security tend to place everything on the boy’s shoulders.

In love, boys need the thrill of the chase. But how can there be a chase without distance in a relationship?

So, no matter how you love, only invest seven-tenths, leaving three-tenths for love is the true path to lasting relationships.

Love Yourself Before Loving Others

If you observe carefully, you’ll notice that many women easily lose themselves once they fall in love. If their partner doesn’t cherish them in the end, it’s still okay, but often they not only lose themselves but also get hurt.

So, no matter how perfect or outstanding your loved one is, you must keep a part of yourself in love, loving seven-tenths is enough, leaving three-tenths for yourself. Only then will you live more freely and not be too passive.

A friend, Jing Jing, gave up her career at the urging of her mother-in-law and husband, only focusing on household chores after giving birth to a chubby boy a year into the marriage. She not only lost her charm but also faced constant criticism from her husband and mother-in-law.

This wasn’t because Jing Jing was lazy but because she was too diligent, focusing only on her family. Losing herself made her unappreciated and disrespected.

When her child turned two, Jing Jing saw her distant husband and strained relationship with her in-laws. Eventually, she made a tough decision to return to work. Although balancing work and family life was exhausting, it brought her fulfillment and happiness.

She loved her family and her job. Her perseverance made her husband admire her and her mother-in-law respect her. Regaining confidence made her more attractive and appealing, leading to a happier marriage.

Love and marriage are just parts of life, not everything, not the only thing, and certainly not worth sacrificing yourself for.

So, whether in love or marriage, stay rational, maintain your identity, and never forget to consider yourself. Reserving three-tenths for yourself earns respect from others.

Love Seven-Tenths for Lasting Relationships

Teacher Tu Lei once said, “Love others seven-tenths, and save three-tenths to love yourself!”

Whether in love or marriage, everyone must understand the principle of diminishing returns. Loving too much ruins your feelings, but loving seven-tenths can make the relationship last.

In the movie “A Wedding Invitation,” the protagonist, Cheng Dongqing, fell in love with Su Mei, who initially had no interest in him. Despite advice from friends to give up, he proved his worth through actions and eventually won Su Mei’s heart.

After winning her, Cheng Dongqing cherished the relationship, but Su Mei, who only wanted to take the TOEFL and go to the United States, didn’t care. She eventually fulfilled her dream, leaving for Plato’s ideal world, leaving Cheng Dongqing heartbroken, struggling to recover from the pain.

So, don’t give your all to someone in love; otherwise, when you part ways, you’ll be left broken. Rather than giving all your love to someone and hurting yourself in the end, it’s better to save some love for yourself, so you won’t be trapped in despair.

Life is short; love others seven-tenths, save three-tenths to love yourself.

Please love yourself more in the remaining years of your life!