Here are three things you need to know to maintain a good long-term relationship!
In fact, being together is just a process. You are transitioning from a single lifestyle to having someone else in your life. Being together is not the end; it doesn’t make everything perfect.
My belief is that if being together is more painful than being single, it’s better not to be together. Being single and being together are two different lifestyles, so there’s really no point in comparing the two.
If you want to maintain a long-term relationship after confirming your relationship, both parties need to execute the following three things. This will make the relationship more stable and easier to develop.
1. Don’t Control Each Other
Many people try to control their partner’s actions, social circle, and even privacy because they feel insecure. However, every time you try to control the other person, it can cause a small amount of damage to the relationship. Your insecurity might seem relieved when you try to control the situation, but in reality, every time you do this, it harms the relationship.
Some might argue that this is just part of compromise. For example, when it comes to chatting, you should be able to chat whenever you want, rather than saying, “We still have 30 minutes left today, let’s chat.” This is not a task or work, right? This is equivalent to controlling the other person’s conversation.
Some might ask how to deal with someone with a strong desire for control. Here are two suggestions:
- Stick to your principles and express your feelings. If the other person is constantly judging you, monitoring your behavior, and making various demands that affect your feelings, you need to firmly maintain your boundaries and tell them that you are responsible for your own affairs and feelings.
- Firmly express your perspective and ideas. Boldly discuss the feelings that the controller is trying to avoid. By asking why they set certain expectations, you can help them face the emotions they are trying to avoid.
If you constantly try to control the other person, it will not only exhaust the relationship but also make it difficult to last long. If you are the one with a strong desire for control, you need to recognize the fear behind it and face the emotions you are avoiding.
2. Prioritize Your Feelings and Respect Each Other’s Feelings
In your interaction, always understand your own feelings. Do not refrain from expressing yourself because of fear of conflict or upsetting the other person. When you freely express yourself, it will make you feel more comfortable and valuable. At the same time, respect the other person’s feelings. When you respect their feelings, they will be more willing to share, and you will understand each other better.
If you feel oppressed and unwilling to face your own feelings just to maintain peace in the relationship, you will eventually find it exhausting to be with the other person. Always prioritize your feelings and then respect the other person’s feelings.
3. Do Your Values Align?
Before getting into a relationship, you should have a general idea of whether your values align. For example, work, spending habits, future plans, and views on love. If there are significant differences in values, such as one person’s need for space conflicting with the other’s desire for frequent meetings, it might indicate that you are not compatible.
Additionally, after being together, it is essential to have common goals for the future. This will naturally emerge once you have developed a certain level of connection.
In conclusion, if you can adhere to these principles, your relationship will likely thrive. Many breakups occur not because of a single event, but due to the accumulation of small issues. By effectively addressing each small problem that arises, you will build confidence in overcoming future challenges, and hopefully, your relationship will endure.