Facing betrayal in relationships, many people find it hard to let go and move on.
If it’s just a one-time betrayal and the person feels remorseful and takes responsibility for it, then forgiving and trying to mend the relationship may be worth a shot, as human nature has a forgiving side.
However, when facing repeated, persistent, and unrepentant betrayal, many people still struggle to let go. This is actually a form of obsession.
If someone chooses to continue hurting you, showing no care for you, then there’s nothing worth holding onto or fantasizing about. Completely letting go and walking away is an act of self-love. Your pain and trouble are all because of this relationship and person. If you have the courage to leave, happiness will surely come.
Why is it hard to let go?
Many people haven’t deeply thought about this question. Their struggle to let go is just a concept, a self-psychological suggestion. What they truly fear is not letting go of the other person, but rather facing the future alone. Those who struggle to let go are lacking in self-confidence and self-responsibility.
What you let go of is actually the pain; what you abandon is actually the trouble.
For a long time, the other person hasn’t given you anything, whether it’s emotional support, dependency, practical help, or even basic care when you’re sick. What’s there to hold onto or struggle to let go of?
What you let go of is just someone who causes you harm, while what they lose may be the most sincere person in their life. Many people never understand this!
Then, they exhaust themselves, using their remaining happiness and time to accompany the person who hurt them.
When it comes to letting go, some people say, “I can’t do it.”
It’s not that they can’t, but rather they don’t believe in the solutions. They always hope for others to solve it and never learn to rely on themselves.
Some may say, “Should I divorce?” and then come up with a bunch of reasons why they can’t.
Firstly, ending the marriage is the best choice when facing continuous betrayal from someone who doesn’t care about you. Many people think that divorce is wrong, but betraying someone is not wrong, and divorcing because of betrayal becomes the wrong thing—what kind of logic is that?
Many say that divorce ruins their reputation, but isn’t it worse to stay with someone who openly betrays you and yet refuse to divorce? In fact, people often look down on those who never divorce, feeling sorry for them.
Of course, divorce has many problems and difficulties, and it’s not as simple as just deciding to do it. However, these real obstacles cannot be an excuse to avoid responsibility.
Secondly, letting go and divorce are two different concepts. Divorce does require letting go, but letting go and abandoning trouble doesn’t necessarily mean divorcing. It means letting go of your dependency on the other person and all the illusions about the relationship.
Even if you don’t divorce, why do some people live well while others suffer so much? The main difference lies in being able to let go and abandon trouble.
Another perspective is that only by letting go and abandoning trouble can you have the opportunity to learn self-reliance and take responsibility for your own happiness in the remaining years of your life, instead of placing hope on a slim and distant fantasy.
So, can you rely on yourself and have the courage and ability to take responsibility for yourself?
This is the crux of the matter, the watershed that determines whether those who have experienced betrayal can eventually move on.
In fact, everyone understands all these truths. But there’s one truth that many people overlook.
That is, people always choose the truths they are willing to accept to convince themselves.