Encountering emotional betrayal, everyone has their own choice, whether to divorce or not is a personal decision. However, after experiencing emotional betrayal, there are some common conclusions drawn from the experiences of many people. These conclusions are hoped to help you better understand and solve the problem.

First, not fearing divorce is the most important change when facing emotional betrayal.

Normal people, of course, don’t casually consider divorce; normal people, of course, fear divorce.

Those who have experienced emotional betrayal never thought about divorce, and after experiencing betrayal, facing the crisis of marriage and family, the most feared outcome is divorce—because you never considered it, and because you believe you can’t bear it.

However, after betrayal in marriage, divorce becomes a possibility. Betrayal means there are cracks in the relationship—according to the Marriage Law, the necessary condition for divorce is “emotional breakdown.” Therefore, when there are cracks in the relationship, there is a possibility of the marriage ending, and this needs to be acknowledged and accepted.

So, the primary lesson when facing emotional betrayal is to adjust yourself from fearing divorce to not fearing divorce; from avoiding the problem to facing the problem. Not fearing divorce doesn’t mean you must choose divorce, a point I’ve stressed countless times. Just like not fearing death doesn’t mean seeking death.

In fact, those who don’t fear death live better. Similarly, those who don’t fear divorce are more composed in marriage—of course, not fearing divorce doesn’t mean lacking respect for marriage and being ready to betray or abandon it at any time.

Emphasizing not fearing divorce is also important because only by not fearing divorce can you adhere to your bottom line, not compromise or yield, not demean yourself, and not cater to and please the person who has wronged and hurt you—the simplest meaning is: if the other person remains unrepentant and continues to err, divorce is the inevitable result.

If you truly cannot divorce due to certain emotional or practical obstacles, then another meaning of not fearing divorce is: I can refrain from initiating divorce, but if you insist on divorce, I won’t cling on stubbornly. Otherwise, if you fear divorce, the other person will take advantage of this weakness and act recklessly.

Second, after experiencing betrayal, the core issue isn’t about the continuation of the marriage, but about your independence.

Facing emotional betrayal, what you should focus on is not the continuation of the marriage, but whether you, who have experienced betrayal, can regain happiness—this issue is actually unrelated to marriage. However, many people have established a logic: a happy marriage leads to a happy life.

In fact, emotional betrayal simply proves to you that they cannot bear the responsibility for your emotions or make you happy. If you didn’t realize this issue before, or if you were confident that they would love you for a lifetime and never betray or hurt you, then the reality has now given you an answer, and perhaps it’s time for you to wake up.

When they cannot be your reliance, you actually have two choices: one is to make them your reliance again, and the other is to learn to rely on yourself. Many people actually choose the former. When you strive to make them your reliance again, your actions naturally follow. At this point, it’s easy to understand why you act humbly and seek to please because you fear losing the only reliance you have and fear being unable to live without it… But you may have forgotten that you can rely on yourself.

After trying to make the other person your reliance again, many people find their efforts are often in vain, making their efforts futile—Even if your efforts yield results, from another perspective, which is more valuable and meaningful: regaining someone to rely on or building self-reliance?

The answer is self-evident.

Therefore, after experiencing emotional betrayal, what you should strive for is learning to rely on yourself, not making the person who betrayed you your reliance again. This is the watershed.

Finally, those words that were said before:

1. Divorce is a personal matter. No one’s divorce can be easily influenced or affected by a few words.

2. Everyone who has experienced betrayal must overcome the fear of divorce. Regardless of the ultimate result of the marriage, not fearing divorce is a necessary change in mindset.

3. The continuation of the marriage depends on your inner self. However, to see your inner self clearly, everyone must first learn to rely on themselves because if you can rely on yourself, you may see your true inner self.

4. Whether or not to divorce depends on your potential for happiness—definitely not being happy if you don’t divorce, and being able to be happy if you divorce, so bravely choose to end it.