“Love has a wonderful magic, it makes one person fall for another,” said Thurber and White.

In the face of love, we all become sentimental and lose our original rationality. Our judgment becomes unclear, and we can no longer look at problems from a rational perspective.

Whether it’s a man or a woman, when they meet someone they love deeply, they want to use their charm to conquer the other person, making them unwilling to leave.

But often, reality clashes with our ideals. Some women, for example, initially want to conquer a man, but end up being conquered and controlled by him instead.

Women in love easily lose their footing. They rarely consider men’s thoughts, instead immersing themselves in their own ideas. Women always think that as long as they are good enough to the man, make him feel comfortable, and show him how good they are, he won’t leave.

In reality, men’s minds are not as simple as women think. For many men, they prefer women who are “troublesome,” because that’s how they feel their presence in the relationship.

If a man meets a woman who is easygoing, he’ll only get used to her kindness and gradually become lazy, too lazy to put effort into her, too lazy to consider her feelings, even too lazy to love her.

If a woman thinks she can conquer a man’s heart with so-called “goodness,” she’s simply daydreaming.

“True love requires not only loving each other, but also understanding each other’s inner world,” said Sukhomlinsky.

To truly conquer a man, you must first understand his inner world. This allows you to treat the relationship better.

“It is profitable to control love with reason in moderation, but it is unprofitable to lavish it in a frenzy,” said Plautus.

The “trick” for women to conquer men is to be cold.

Love often works in reverse. You think that as long as you are good enough to a man, he will stay by your side. But you don’t know that this will only make him look down on you, thinking your love is too easy and cheap. Over time, your relationship loses its balance. He’s in front, and you’re always chasing after him, begging for his love.

All your goodness in his eyes is not because you are good, but because he thinks he’s good, and that’s why you’re willing to do so much for him.

Once a woman’s love becomes humble, the relationship starts to crumble. He won’t cherish your humility, and how could he possibly be conquered by you?

“Habit is everything, even in love,” said Vauvenargues.

When a man is used to being ahead, always leaving you behind, he can’t see you. Once he meets someone more charming than you, he’ll leave without hesitation, without even a hint of reluctance.

If a woman becomes a little colder towards a man, it will surprise him and make him wonder why. Once a man feels a sense of crisis in love, he’ll naturally pay more attention to the woman. The stronger his sense of crisis, the more he’ll care about the relationship, the more he’ll care about the woman’s feelings, and he’ll naturally be conquered by her.

My friend, Lily, experienced this in her last relationship. When she was with her boyfriend, she put in a lot of effort for their future. She quit her job and moved to the city where he lived. She also felt sorry for his busy schedule, cooked for him every day, did his laundry, and took care of him in every way.

After they had been together for a while, his attitude towards her changed. He didn’t care about her feelings anymore. He even said that everything she did was voluntary and nothing special.

After being heartbroken, Lily finally understood. She started focusing on herself, no longer doing anything for him. When he reached out to her, she was cold.

Seeing Lily’s change and attitude, her boyfriend started to get anxious. He kept asking if she had met someone else.

Lily’s coldness changed her boyfriend a lot, and their relationship became more stable.

“In my opinion, true love is shown in the lover’s taking a modest, humble, even shy attitude towards his idol, and not in the free expression of passion and premature intimacy,” said Marx.

Even if a woman loves a man with all her heart, she can only show five points. Otherwise, your excessive enthusiasm will make him stop loving you. He’ll get used to you being so proactive in loving and giving.

On the contrary, your occasional distance and coldness will not scare him away. Instead, it will make him care more about you and be willing to be conquered by you.

As the saying goes, “too much of anything is bad.” You’re too good to a man, you show that you care too much about him, he’ll become arrogant and complacent. He’ll take your love for granted. How could he possibly love you back with equal intensity?

Love should not be humble or flattering. It should be on an equal footing to have a good relationship.

If a woman wants to conquer a man’s heart and hold onto her love, she needs to be “cold” to him. This will create a sense of crisis in him.