In life, not everything needs to be said. Some things don’t need to be spoken because those who should understand will naturally do so. Some things shouldn’t be said because basic respect should always be maintained. Some things are left unsaid because in the midst of all the bitterness, self-redemption is the only way.
Silence is a gentle strength.
On the last day of July, David’s father passed away. When I saw her, she was entertaining the relatives who came to offer their condolences. At first glance, everything seemed normal—polite, smiling, not crying, just a little quiet. At her early twenties, she seemed like a person with years of experience. After the funeral, when all the relatives had left, in the silence of the night, her smile faded. I stayed with her in the darkness, and after a long silence, she finally choked back her tears. It was then that I realized, a person’s maturity begins silently.
Wrote in a book: “In one’s life, there will always be times when your heart is in turmoil, but to others, you just seem a little quieter than usual, and no one finds it strange. This kind of battle is destined to be fought alone. The older you get, the more you realize that there are many people in the world carrying heavy burdens. Some have to bear the weight of life at a young age; some sacrifice half of their lives for their families without seeing their loved ones for the last time; some deliver takeout while their children are asleep, and some may look well-dressed but are torn inside. Everyone struggles, but mature people have learned not to cry out. They no longer wail because what had to happen has already occurred, and those who had to leave have already gone. They no longer confide because, in the end, it might just be a pastime for some people after dinner.
Life is just a journey for one person. Only a few truly understand your joys and sorrows, while others join in just for the sake of it. Few care about the exposed vulnerability, and few truly understand the endless worries. Instead of seeking temporary comfort by speaking out, it’s better to learn to break free from the darkness and transform into a better version of oneself. No life can always be smooth, and silence is the gentle strength to overcome setbacks.
Silence is a form of advanced self-discipline.
Last month, a young leader was suddenly assigned to our company. In his early twenties, this didn’t sit well with many colleagues. However, within a month, he became the most respected among us. A senior colleague commented: “Despite his young age, he displays a maturity and composure that many lack. He doesn’t waste words. During meetings, he either quietly listens to others or speaks with reason and evidence, earning everyone’s respect. He handles situations with grace. Even when a colleague deliberately did something wrong to undermine him, he remained patient, corrected the mistake, and privately clarified the situation without causing any embarrassment. He is highly educated, yet he never dominates conversations at private gatherings; he always maintains a reserved and silent demeanor.
Once, the food delivery was an hour late, something that would make most people angry. But he remained calm, offered the delivery person a glass of water, and reassured him that he wouldn’t receive a negative review. When asked about his patience, he said, “I was hungry and annoyed too, but the delivery person was sweating, surely more famished and tired. Everyone has their struggles, and there’s no need to add more unpleasantness over trivial matters.” Have you noticed that those who appear accustomed to silence are not unable to speak or afraid to express anger? On the contrary, they know when to speak and understand when to stay silent better than most. It’s easy to speak and lose your temper, but ensuring that every word spoken doesn’t hurt and every expression shown respects others is no easy feat.
Silence is the most elegant form of argument.
I got to know a neighbor who lives alone and leads a carefree life. She is busy with work during the day, practices yoga in the evenings, and spends weekends learning oil painting and baking. She pays great attention to her appearance, always looking neat and wearing a light touch of makeup when going out. People who truly know her feel that she embodies the essence of a woman. However, the neighborhood gossip about her is quite negative. Some say that she’s in her thirties and still unmarried, so there must be something wrong. Others comment on her flamboyant dressing style, assuming that something is amiss. Once, when I invited her for a shopping trip and we passed by the community garden, I noticed a few women gossiping and pointing in our direction. I overheard them making ungrounded speculations about her. She heard it too but didn’t say anything. Instead, she smiled at them, greeted them, and walked away. I asked her if she felt wronged. She replied, “Everyone perceives things differently. They have already made up their minds about me, so no matter how much I argue, it’s pointless. My life won’t be affected by baseless gossip, but they’ve confined themselves to such trivial talk. In today’s society, it’s too noisy. A normal topic online can attract thousands of criticisms. Every New Year, there are distant relatives who aggressively push for marriage and childbirth, more actively than your own parents. There are plenty of rumors and malicious gossip, as well as people who meddle unnecessarily. Arguing with them not only wastes time and emotions but also serves no purpose. Some say that the kind of person you argue with determines the kind of person you become.
Why force harmony when perspectives differ? Not everyone deserves your explanation, and not everyone is worth sacrificing your ‘freedom to stay silent’. Sometimes, silence is the most elegant form of argument. It avoids causing direct embarrassment to others and preserves the original intention of not being tainted by the world.
A person’s maturity begins with silence.
Wang Xiaobo said, “You rarely learn about human nature through words, but you can through silence. If you want to learn even more, then you must continue to keep silent.” Silence is a rational choice and a philosophy of living. It can clear the chaos in one’s mind and minimize self-consumption. In life, not everything needs to be said. Some things don’t need to be spoken because those who should understand will naturally do so. Some things shouldn’t be said because basic respect should always be maintained. Some things are left unsaid because in the midst of all the bitterness, self-redemption is the only way.
Silence is not cowardice but gentle strength. It’s not incompetence but advanced self-discipline. It’s not the absence of debate but the most elegant form of argument.
Silence is the beginning of a person’s maturity.