A: “Oh, the sister in front has super thin legs! And they are very straight!”

B: “Well, you have a great figure! Your waist is also very thin!”

C: “Unlike me, my legs are still so strong.”

B: “Your legs are still thick? Are you kidding! They are obviously very thin, okay!”

C: “No, my calves are very thick, so I never wear shorts alone. I usually wear shorts to expose my thighs, or wear long skirts to cover them up.”

Both A and B expressed their shame. In the end, the conversation ended imperfectly with the chubby classmate B’s expression of hopelessness.

Such conversations around us, especially among girls, are quite common.

In academia, this phenomenon is named Fat Talk, which refers to the fact that women are often dissatisfied with their bodies and discuss this dissatisfaction among friends.

1. What are we talking about when we talk about obesity?

I still remember the popularity of Victoria’s Secret some time ago. The models’ figures were so good that we could only sigh in front of them and say: We are both girls, why are there such big differences?

I saw a piece of news some time ago. It reported that a woman tried all kinds of plastic surgery, diet, and exercise in order to become the beloved Barbie doll of her dreams, and finally became a Barbie doll in life.

Regarding “fat talk”, there are many examples in real life, which generally involve the following five topics. We will find that some people around us, and even ourselves, often exhibit these behaviors:

(1) Compare yourself to your ideal body shape and exercise habits

(2) Fear and fear of getting fat

(3) Compare your own eating and exercise habits to others

For example, we often choose to reduce our own food intake or not eat because we see others dieting to lose weight. We think that people who are thinner than us have started to lose weight, and we may die of obesity if we don’t lose weight.

(4) Evaluate the appearance of others

(5) Adopt diet and high-intensity exercise strategies

We will find that some people around us, and even ourselves, often exhibit the above behaviors.

We often regard celebrities with excellent figures as the objects of our efforts, or compare them with classmates and colleagues with excellent figures nearby, repeatedly comment on another person’s figure, or threaten to lose weight from time to time.

2. Why do girls, no matter how thin they are, talk about how fat they are?

Some time ago, a certain actress lost dozens of pounds after becoming pregnant for the sake of public image, creating a legend in the weight loss industry. She then became a hot topic due to her successful weight loss, and her public image also turned the tide.

The image of “thin” female stars is also increasingly promoted in the public media.

People gradually tend to equate “thinness” with good qualities such as self-discipline, reasonable diet, and persistence in exercise.

For example, the goddess baby recognized by boys has a good figure and good looks. Therefore, more and more people incorporate similar ideal figures into their self-perception and use it as a standard for evaluating themselves.

Therefore, “thinness” is still respected in this era.

“Fat talk” occurs more among girls, and is trending at younger ages. Why are people so keen on talking about how fat they are?

Reason 1: Society agrees with this self-derogatory paradigm

“My legs are so thick. I’m so envious of your long legs.”

Many women see talking about fat as a forced normative paradigm, a self-derogatory paradigm that they believe is sanctioned by social groups.

In fact, repeatedly saying that you are fat does not attract social disgust, but is regarded as a normal phenomenon.

Have you noticed that there are always some girls around you who often complain that their legs are too thick or their belly is too obvious, but every time they say it, they can get a comforting response from others.

If things go on like this, she will internally affirm this kind of fat talk, thinking that at least such talk will not arouse the disgust of others.

Reason 2: Talking about obesity can reduce feelings of guilt

“Why am I getting fat again? Let’s go eat Zunbao tonight?”

Fat talking can alleviate some of the guilt people feel when they engage in behaviors that may lead to weight gain.

For example, a girl at a buffet might say to someone else, “I know eating so much will definitely put on weight.” In this situation, the woman is apologizing to her friend for violating the rules with her food. Reduce the guilt associated with overeating.

Reason 3: Reduce the sense of powerlessness about your body shape

“My figure is really bad!!!”

Because there is a big gap between ideal and reality, women who do not have a good figure themselves will feel very desperate inside. Talking about obesity can help women release the pressure of feeling that their figure is not good enough.

When talking about obesity becomes an outlet for stress, women can understand their own thoughts and reduce their feelings of powerlessness and pain about their body status.

In fact, there is no right or wrong in terms of value in wanting to be slim. The key lies in the degree you have mastered.

If, like in our daily lives, when we are trying on clothes or going out for a big meal, we occasionally mention body-related topics, there is nothing wrong with making fun of yourself or being a little envious of others.

Such actions can become the spice in life, allowing you to pay attention to controlling your diet from time to time and ensure a healthy lifestyle.

However, if you talk about these things frequently and you devote yourself to thinking about these things, you will lose more than you gain.

If there are always friends around you who frequently ask you to pay attention to these aspects, then you may also consider staying away from them. After all, negative emotions are transmitted much faster than positive emotions, and this will affect your state for a period of time.

3. You think you’re just talking about obesity, but that’s not the case

In fact, talking about obesity has many disadvantages. For example, it can cause individuals to be dissatisfied with their body, eating disorders, and negative emotions.

If there are people around you who often talk about your body in a very pessimistic way, or often talk to you about dieting and weight loss, you will gradually feel unconfident and negative about your body.

This kind of dissatisfaction will push individuals to resort to some weight loss plan, repeatedly demean themselves and other negative ways to restore their inner balance.

If someone around you always tells you that you think your figure is really bad, and it would be okay if she was fatter than you, then you are afraid that if she is thinner than you and more beautiful than you, in the long run, you will involuntarily She would be thinking, if she is ugly, let alone me, I will be doomed in the future.

Although “fat talk” has many negative consequences, it is still an important “excuse” in some situations.

Excuse 1: Please comfort me and give me a hug!

When people seek comfort from other friends and elicit “social validation,” for example, a woman complains about her body by saying, “I feel fat today,” she may be expecting her friends to comfort her, and she is hoping that you Be able to respond by saying something like, “Stop, you know your legs are skinny, and I’m fatter than you.”

Excuse 2: I am fat, that’s why I failed the interview

There are many situations like this in our lives. For example, a friend of mine, Andy, kept complaining about her figure after she came back from the interview, saying that she must be too fat and ugly, so she didn’t get any extra points and failed the interview. , and then immediately started on the road to weight loss.

But we all understand that body shape may not account for the main proportion of points deducted in the interview.

Excuse 3: I must be too fat, that’s why he broke up with me

Such talk can also mask other underlying reluctances to express directly, such as calling a person fat after a breakup to cover up one’s own anger and sadness after a breakup.

I had a friend who was crazy about losing weight for a period of time, looking for information related to weight loss, and even joined a weight loss group to discuss weight loss tips. I was very confused because after all, she was a person with a well-proportioned figure. For example, why are you suddenly so obsessed with losing weight?

But one day, she suddenly confessed her inner feelings and told me that she had always felt fat, unconfident, and desperate about her figure during that time, but these were all due to her boyfriend abandoning her. She felt uncomfortable with this fact, and she felt that attributing it to her body shape would make her breakup less painful.

If you have occasionally had the phenomenon of “talking about obesity” in your life, and it does not cause you any trouble, then after reading this article, you can just think of it as learning a new knowledge point. At the same time, you can pass on your experience to those around you.

But if it brings you a lot of trouble, for example, it makes you become more and more inferior, or makes you feel a little pessimistic about your future development, or it makes you pay attention to your own health every day. Because of my body shape or other unimportant things, I delayed my business, which made me hate myself even more…

I think it is necessary for you to consider the reasons behind your talk, and use the power around you to help you overcome difficulties, give full play to the role models of others and your own subjective initiative to learn functions, and slowly change yourself.

Finally, what I want to say is that there is still a long way to go for “obesity talk”, and you heroes should go ahead and cherish it.