Karl Marx once said, “Only love and a cough cannot be concealed.”

When you love someone, you can’t help but miss them and want to stay in touch.

Most people believe that if a man loves a woman, he will definitely reach out to her.

In reality, things are not absolute. Some people, even though they love and miss you, won’t contact you, and men are the same.

It’s often assumed that only women think a lot when it comes to love. However, sometimes men also think the same way when they miss you but don’t contact you.

Afraid of disturbing you

A friend of mine, Sarah, and her husband have been together for many years, starting their relationship when they were about eighteen or nineteen years old.

Later, they went to different universities and started a long-distance relationship.

Sarah thought they could get married after the four years of college, but she unexpectedly got into a graduate program.

Graduate school life was full of distress, with experiments piling up every day. When Sarah’s husband called her, she was always in the lab.

Once, when Sarah’s husband called, she was pouring sulfuric acid into a test tube. She held the test tube and the phone in one hand, and accidentally dropped acid on her shoe, instantly ruining it.

After learning about this, no matter how much he missed Sarah, her husband refrained from calling her, not wanting to disturb her.

Later, Sarah felt her husband became distant and was upset. She called him to confront him.

Her husband said, “I miss you even more on the days I don’t contact you, but I know you’re busy, so I don’t want to bother you.”

Sometimes, when a woman feels a man suddenly isn’t contacting her, she tends to overthink, attributing the reason for the lack of contact to his lack of love.

In reality, men sometimes have their own difficulties and are also considering the other person’s well-being.

Sometimes, when you love someone and want to contact them, you also fear disturbing them and causing trouble, so you endure the longing.

When a man pursues a woman, he becomes very brave, but when he loves her deeply, he also has many concerns, sometimes afraid of disrupting her life.

Playing hard to get

I once heard a classmate say that his roommate used this tactic.

His roommate liked a girl from the next class, missed her every day, but didn’t actively reach out to her.

Sometimes, when they were in class together, he would deliberately sit next to her and exchange a few words.

Afterward, although he added her on WeChat, he didn’t actively chat with her. Sometimes, he would send her a message on holidays or show concern when she was sick.

Other girls in the dormitory felt puzzled. Why did he like this girl so much but didn’t actively chat with her online?

The roommate answered, “The most skillful way to pursue a girl is to play hard to get.”

Some men are more direct. If they like a woman, they immediately take action, whether in real life or on their phones, enjoying continuous conversations.

However, some men are not as direct. They like to play some tricks while pursuing a girl, achieving better results with less effort.

Both men and women share a common mentality: When someone contacts you every day, you start to take them for granted. Sometimes, when you’re troubled, receiving many messages or calls makes you feel the other person lacks tact.

There is a saying, “When the moon is full, it begins to wane; when the water is full, it starts to overflow.”

Whether in friendship or love, being overly available can put you in a disadvantageous position. If you constantly think about the other person and keep contacting them, it actually weakens your position.

Sometimes, when you hold onto something too tightly, you are more likely to lose it. It’s like holding a handful of sand—the tighter you hold it, the faster it slips away. So, the best approach is a combination of looseness and tightness.

Smart people also learn to play hard to get in love. When you don’t contact the other person frequently, they may start to develop some feelings for you.

Not knowing what to say

Once, a good friend of mine had an argument with his girlfriend.

After the argument, his girlfriend didn’t message him, so my friend didn’t contact her.

During a conversation, I asked him, “Aren’t you afraid your girlfriend will really break up with you by doing this?”

He turned to me and said, “I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing and she’ll break up with me, so I’d rather not say anything. Actually, I miss her a lot now.”

Men and women think differently, so sometimes, after a fight, men don’t know what to say.

After an argument, men like to reason, but women sometimes don’t. The reason women don’t want to reason is that they hope men can speak about love, not reason.

Women believe that a man who loves them will accommodate them, so they don’t want to hear a lot of reasoning.

Men believe that after an argument, only by explaining things clearly will the other person calm down. So, after a few words, they end up making the woman even angrier.

After an argument, men are also afraid to pick up the phone or send a message to the woman, fearing they might say the wrong thing.

However, when a man doesn’t contact a woman after a fight, the woman thinks he doesn’t love her, when in reality, he might not know what to say and is considering how to approach the situation.

In love, everyone has their concerns because they value the other person so much. So, even if they miss the other person a lot, they may not take the initiative to contact them. Women are like this, and men are the same.