“What does that woman have that’s better than me? Why did you betray me?”

A while back, Diane came to me and said, “I’ve barely slept well for nearly a month. I often dream of scenes of enjoyment with that woman. Each time, I want to beat her up and ask why she’s destroying someone else’s family. But my husband always pulls me away, angrily telling me that the woman is his lover, asking me not to ruin their relationship. My heart aches, and the pain in my dreams is so real. I wake up the next morning with tears in my eyes. I don’t even dare to look in the mirror nowadays. I live every day feeling like death. Do you know? We were the model couple everyone admired! But he still betrayed me? Why? Why? Why did he cheat?”

After hearing this, I felt very sorry for her. This sense of fear and helplessness was filling Diane’s heart.

Indeed, being betrayed by the person you trust the most is hard for anyone.

So, what kind of men are most likely to cheat?

01 Men who are concerned with face and vanity are more likely to cheat

Some people cheat not out of their own needs, but as a capital to show off.

And a man’s circle of friends might have such people, and men, for the sake of face, might also cheat like their friends.

Men who are concerned with face and vanity like to compare themselves with others. Whatever others have, they also want to have.

They lack the ability to think independently and discern certain things, and they have a strong herd mentality.

In their subconscious, they fear being abandoned by the group, so they use infidelity to prove their loyalty to their friends and gain recognition.

For example, in movies and TV shows, in order to join a gang, one has to kill someone to prove their loyalty.

02 Men with low self-esteem are more likely to cheat

Usually, we think that men who cheat are often very confident in themselves, but in fact, men with low self-esteem are more likely to cheat.

Why is that?

People naturally seek perfection. A man with low self-esteem will seek a partner who is better than himself to compensate for his own perceived imperfection.

However, their sense of inferiority comes from within, and they feel that their wife’s excellence can only temporarily satisfy them.

But the feeling of inferiority is so strong that slowly, men feel that they are not worthy of their wives, they can’t find their place at home, and always feel inferior, feeling like they have no say.

Sensitive to their own feelings, they really want to be recognized and admired by others. If they can’t get it from their wives, they are likely to seek it outside, and as long as other women praise and admire them a little, they will feel very valued.

So, they are willing to invest emotions and material things to maintain this wonderful feeling.

This is why many women complain: “He had such poor conditions at first, I married him against my parents’ wishes, and now he has betrayed me.”

This is the reason.

03 Men without goals or hobbies are more likely to cheat

You see, a man without goals or hobbies, how does he release the pressure in such a stressful environment?

Some people choose online games, some choose gambling, some choose excessive drinking, and some choose to cheat.

The methods are different, but the purpose is to escape reality and release pressure.

However, people with hobbies are different. They know how to release this pressure through positive and healthy means, like listening to music, watching movies, exercising, writing journals, or hanging out with friends.

Those with goals like to work steadily towards their objectives and release the pressure.

04 Men who prioritize men over women or are more fickle are more likely to cheat

Men who prioritize men over women usually have strong traditional views, severe male chauvinism, and think women are inferior.

For example, if their wives don’t give birth to a son, they will push the responsibility onto their wives and won’t allow any rebuttals. So, they find the excuse that they cheated just because their wives didn’t give birth to a son.

As for fickle men, they have a fluctuating heart. If you want them to live a stable life, it might be more unbearable for them than killing.

After cheating, they often use their own logic to convince their wives: men are animals with separate upper and lower bodies.

05 Men whose fathers or mothers cheated

We all know that our behavior is greatly influenced by our original family, especially in intimate relationships.

Parents are our first teachers in intimate relationships, and how they manage their own relationships greatly influences how we handle our own intimate relationships.

Often, people whose fathers or mothers have cheated tend to emulate their parents.

Because in their minds, cheating is a very normal thing, or a pursuit of that kind of thrill, to retaliate against a past cheater.

06 Oedipus complex at work

Psychology believes that a person has to be emotionally and mentally capable to be suitable for marriage.

This means that not only do they have to be physically capable of marriage and having children, but also psychologically mature enough to assume responsibility for themselves and their families. They should be capable of creating their own happiness, and only then are they suitable for marriage.

People who are used to being cared for by their parents will continue this pattern in marriage, and they subconsciously hope that their spouse will take care of them like their mother.

A person used to being cared for hasn’t matured enough psychologically, and the interaction between them and their parents is definitely not fair.

So, before marriage, they are very good to their lovers, trying to please the other, hoping that the other will be their “mother.”

Once the relationship is stable, or after marriage, they begin to return to their true nature.

They become very picky about their spouses, wondering why the other person can’t do this or that. However, it’s impossible for their spouse to be like their own mother, so they become disappointed in marriage and start looking for a new “mother” outside of marriage.

In contrast, those who have been treated harshly by their parents since childhood have a strong desire for a perfect parent to compensate for the lack of love in their childhood.

For example, some girls who lack fatherly love will seek a person outside of marriage who can give them love if they don’t feel it in their marriage.

Frequent cheaters’ behavior of finding a “mother” each time is doomed to disappointment.

No woman is willing to be her husband’s mother, take care of him meticulously, and not expect anything in return.

Returning to Diane’s situation, why did Diane’s husband cheat?

I asked Diane about her husband’s original family situation, especially the relationship between his parents.

Diane said that her husband’s parents had always had a bad relationship and often quarreled. And her husband had seen his father with other women when he was young. At the time, his father threatened him, asking him not to tell his mother, or he’d be in big trouble. Since then, her husband had become taciturn, sensitive, suspicious, and had never told his mother about this. He had hidden it in his heart for a long time, until he met me, and then he cried.

From this, it can be seen that even though her husband didn’t approve of his father’s actions, he was inadvertently emulating his father.

In addition, Diane is a strong-willed and capable woman, and her husband is self-effacing, quiet, and always quietly doing things, never arguing with Diane.

So, Diane’s husband cheated for many reasons.

A person who has cheated is like a used piece of paper that can’t return to its original state no matter what.

So what can you do?

You can replace this person.

But you have to be strong!

When you are busy and beautiful, happiness will eventually embrace you.