”After meeting you, I have never worried about separation” Security—a sense of stability

In love, our psychology needs a basic stable environment. Some people often use phone calls to repeatedly confirm whether the other person will leave me suddenly. But excessive “seeking stability” will often cause trouble to the other party.

If a person who is very thirsty for a sense of security meets someone who is willing to give him or her this sense of security, for example, when a boyfriend goes out on a business trip and calls his girlfriend to report that he is safe, his girlfriend will feel the sense of security she needs. Very well protected. Such two people are very harmonious together.

Many times it’s not that we “lack of security”, but that we haven’t found someone who will “take care of” your security.

When there is enough security in love, it will not be hard to maintain this relationship, and it will be as natural and easy as a part of your life.

But if he can’t meet your need for security, you will find ways to “monitor” the other person, as if love has become everything to you. If there is a slight crisis in your love, you will immediately solve it and control the other person, and it will become more and more difficult to maintain your relationship.

“In front of you, I am who I am” is accepted and understood—truly be yourself

If you were just scolded by your boss, would you turn around and complain to your best friend? Because your friends are likely to complain with you, you will feel accepted and understood, which is a very comfortable feeling.

To be truly accepted and understood is to be able to truly be yourself in front of the other person, to be able to open yourself up without fear of being hurt, especially when the other person can see you, understand you, and give you support and strength when you are vulnerable, low, and painful. You can even burp and say P in front of the other person.

I See You. No matter how embarrassed you are, in front of me, you are you.

But if you feel that he cannot fully accept and understand you, you will want to hide your true self and maintain the best and most glamorous you in front of him. Of course, this situation is normal in the early stages of a relationship, but when you have passed the passion in the early stage of a relationship and the relationship is on the right track, you still don’t have the courage to show your true self in front of him, and you can’t feel that you are accepted, and it is still very hard. To maintain your own good image, this relationship is bound to end in failure.

The more we pretend, the harder it is, which proves that our fear is stronger; and the more we can let go, the more authentic we are, and we truly enter a relationship.

”As long as your eyes confirm, my love is meaningful” being noticed—I feel great

No matter when, I firmly believe that he likes me very much, and I am his irreplaceable only one.

I remember when I was dating in college, I walked into a classroom and my boyfriend happened to be sitting there. He got up in front of everyone and walked to the door to pick me up. I still remember the joy in his eyes when he looked at me, which makes me feel very sweet and warm when I think about it.

He likes you, and his whole body is shining with golden light.

When a person is deeply cared for by another person, the unique joy and appreciation can be seen in his eyes. He will make you feel great, and this feeling is the satisfaction of being noticed in a relationship.

But if there is a lack of attention in the relationship, you will feel as if you are often ignored, and you will feel that the other person always only pays attention to himself and cannot take care of you, and you will have a huge sense of gap in your heart.

”After being with him, I seem to have become a different person” filled with hope and vitality—a different life

Liu Chuanzhi, the former president of Lenovo Group, said at the wedding of his son Liu Lin that Liu Lin finally got married in his forties. He used to be very introverted, rigorous and dull, but since he met his daughter-in-law, he suddenly became cheerful. He said he was very grateful to his daughter-in-law for bringing a different life to his son.

“Liu Lin’s forehead started to light up, and there was always joy and smile in his eyebrows.”

This is what it feels like to have hope, to have life activated.

In the past, you may have liked to stay at home and not want to interact with anyone, but when you meet someone, you feel like you are completely transformed. There are many things you want to share with people every day, including shopping, singing, dancing, and traveling. Suddenly, you find that I still have so many possibilities, as if everything in my life can be ignited.

This feeling of stimulated vitality is a very important thing you gain from interacting with this person. You gain a hopeful vitality, and you will be more motivated to live.

But if the other person cannot bring you the vitality you need, you may feel that you are the only one who contributes in the relationship, but the other person is indifferent. Instead, your original vitality will be suppressed in the relationship, making you feel overwhelmed. .

The sense of eternity of “My heart is eternal”—Be your own superman

The sense of eternity brought by love sounds even more mysterious and wonderful.

In “Titanic”, it is precisely because of getting along with each other in just a few days that Jack opened the door to the vitality of Ruth’s life, and they gained a sense of eternity in their lives. When Ruth dropped the “star of the sea”, their love lived forever in their hearts and no longer needed any external form to prove it.

When I fall in love with someone, I not only gain true love, but also gain a hope of eternal life.

If the “sense of eternity” is maintained well in a love relationship, you will have a feeling of “I am Superman” and feel that you can fight against everything.

But if this is affected, you will often feel vulnerable, easily hurt, and your romantic relationships will be fragile.

Good love means that she may not be perfect, but she has everything I need most, and she can satisfy me with everything I desire most.