The answer is—the ability to love yourself.

Many people do not have this ability. What most people call “self-love” is just being willing to spend money lavishly or being selfish to achieve their goals.

True self-love is a state of accepting yourself, listening to yourself, satisfying your own sense of security and needs, and reaching reconciliation with your inner self.

This is the most necessary condition for a person to obtain true love.

Because only when you love yourself can your independent personality truly take shape and you are qualified to love and be loved.

On the contrary, you are used to feeling inferior, cowardly, self-sacrificing, and used to please others; if you look down on yourself, always put your own needs last, and are not good enough to yourself, then you will never be able to get the true love of others. .

True love is for the strong, tell me again: true love is for the strong.

This is the irony of this world—the more urgent you are to need something, the less you will get;

When you are self-sufficient, you will get more.

1. Why is it so difficult for people who don’t love themselves to get true love?

Any product must undergo quality testing before leaving the factory, and it can only be circulated if it passes the test. If the manufacturer has no hope for its product and cannot even pass this test, it only means that the product itself is a defective product, let alone a defective product. Customers buy into it.

So, when you don’t love yourself enough, you must be an emotionally disabled person.

In your opinion, every relationship you have is filled with selfless dedication and meticulous attention to the other person;

However, the truth is:

All your efforts are essentially to obtain rewards; while giving, you are potentially raising the standards for the other party. If the other party fails to meet the standards, you will naturally feel betrayed.

When you project all your needs to the outside world, it becomes a bottomless pit that can never be filled.

Because you don’t love yourself, but long to be loved, you will be used to using self-sacrifice to try to influence the other person.

Therefore, your efforts are inevitably mixed with dissatisfaction and complaints, your feelings cannot avoid bloody pain and hunger, and there will inevitably be unreasonable expectations in your intimate relationship, as well as moments that make the other person feel oppressed and nervous.

In the eyes of the other party, this is extremely incompetent and boring.

Even if he loves you at first, he will restrain his love after experiencing this round of torture.

Love is an instinct, and so is not love. What drives these instincts is the other person’s comfort level with you and their inner attraction.

2. What does it mean to “truly love yourself”?

1. Accept your shortcomings and allow yourself to be ordinary and imperfect.

Have you ever had someone you loved very much? Then treat yourself like him.

You will tolerate his shortcomings, allow him to be mediocre or even ugly, make excuses for his failures, and stand by his side without hesitation—then invest this unreasonable preference in yourself.

Allow yourself to have shortcomings. It is these shortcomings that make you unique and flesh-and-blood;

Allow yourself to fail and be imperfect. It is these driving forces that allow you to constantly reflect and move forward, constantly explore your own abilities, and discover a better self.

You are human, and like everyone else, there will be people who tolerate your shortcomings and fall in love with your ordinary side.

But if you give up on yourself before that, you will lose your power and shining point, and you will truly miss the people who appreciate you.

2. Respect your own value and only do things that are truly beneficial to you.

People with low self-esteem always feel that their existence is worthless, so they are not afraid of breaking the jar.

So you get drunk every night, fall down and lie down, and use the stimulation in front of you to numb your hopelessness about the future; little do you know that you are exploiting your own value, you are the executioner in your life, and you have completely pushed yourself into the abyss.

You have never respected your own value as a human being, nor do you believe that you can create the future you want. But I never thought that you were just blinded by your low self-esteem—you brainwashed yourself into a meaningless ant, but the real you was once the seed expected by your parents and friends, and also had unlimited possibilities and potential. Equal and independent people.

3. Cherish your health and stay in good condition at all times

The body is the capital of revolution, the real you after removing all external objects.

You can pursue fame and fortune, you can conform to the world’s gaze, and you can become who you want to be—but the premise is that this is all your game, and you are the manipulator, not the manipulated.

Only when your mobile phone is fully charged can you enjoy the game—if your mobile phone is about to be scrapped, you still care about winning or losing the game. It cannot prove anything else but that you are a puppet of the game, and it is impossible to prove that you care about your mobile phone.

4. Listen to your inner voice

Don’t suppress your feelings, don’t limit your possibilities, and don’t seek perfection through compromise to achieve a happy relationship.

Pay attention to your inner needs and true feelings, and your behavior and attitude must be based on “psychological balance”, whether you give or take.

Even if it seems to outsiders that you have suffered a loss, you feel comfortable in your heart, so why not suffer a few more losses? Outsiders think it is a big advantage, but you feel uncomfortable because of it, then be a fool in the eyes of others. Being a fool is much better than making yourself uncomfortable.

Follow your own feelings. This does not mean that you are indifferent to others and selfish, but it does not mean that you do not need to wrong yourself in order to satisfy others.

…

In short, “true love” appears because you are worthy of being loved and appreciated.

Only when you learn to love yourself can you truly develop your resistance to the external environment and the stability of your self-charisma from the core.

You have the ability to give yourself many things, and you have the ability not to be afraid of losing many things—it is this energy that is the surefire in relationships, which is particularly charming and powerful.