The Unspoken Rules of Sex: Thinking a Man Sleeping with You Means He Loves You

These days, a well-known accounting firm has become a hot topic.

The hot search keyword is “XXXX Firm Meeting Room,” where a male and a female employee made love in the meeting room with the lights off and without locking the door. Unbeknownst to them, another department needed the meeting room temporarily, and a group of people walked in, turned on the lights, and witnessed the whole scene.

This big gossip quickly spread like wildfire in the financial circle, eventually making it to the top of the hot search list.

Subsequently, the male and female lead characters were exposed, and netizens were surprised to find out that the female lead had just gotten married, but the male lead was unaware. It was then revealed that their business trips were at the level of “Fifty Shades of Grey,” and there were traces of their activities in various corners of the company.

Many people criticized the female lead, saying that as a married woman, she should have shown more self-respect. But to be honest, while condemning her, I also feel a bit sorry for her.

Whether driven by desire or love, she offered her precious body as a woman.

However, in this process, she overlooked the self-respect she should have upheld—every man is shrewd and pragmatic. When a woman is willing to accept him anytime, anywhere, and even invite him to a moment of pleasure, men often enjoy it on one hand and scorn it on the other.

Just like how men fantasize about adult film actresses while despising their profession. After all, he downloads a movie with just a free Wi-Fi.

When it comes to sex, men can be more pragmatic than you can imagine.

A friend once shared a real story with me.

His male friend wanted to buy a BMW but was short of five thousand dollars. So, he organized a drinking session to borrow money from his friends in a hurry.

Someone asked, puzzled, “You’re just short of five thousand. Why do you insist on buying a basic BMW? It’s good enough to get a top-of-the-line Nissan instead, isn’t it?”

The BMW guy answered, “You don’t get it! Even though it’s just a basic model, as long as you hang the BMW car key in a nightclub, half the women will be willing to go with you. And usually, those who are attracted to a BMW are not ‘high-end goods,’ and you don’t even have to spend money on a hotel room. You can just take them in the car. If I spend three or four hundred on a hotel room for one night, it’s just wasted. It’s better to grit my teeth and buy a BMW.”

Long-term car intimacy can save expensive hotel expenses.

This is why some sleazy men are particularly happy to make love with women in cars—the notions of “excitement” and “sensation” are all just a facade.

In a cramped space, not being able to breathe properly is one thing, but not being able to change positions is another. Can you say that this can compare to the soft, comfortable bed in a five-star hotel, with the freedom to change positions and feel the sensations?

For a woman, if she accepts making love in a car, the man will feel that she deserves respect, as long as she has a car.

What’s even more maddening is that they are especially good at using the scenes of intimacy that you are willing to accept to categorize women.

For example, if a man finds a woman willing to be intimate with him in a car worth tens of thousands of dollars, then when it comes to accommodation, he will definitely choose a cheap motel; when dining out, he would prefer a street-side restaurant; when giving gifts, he would go to a discount store…

Just as the BMW guy said, he believes that a woman willing to sleep with him in a BMW would probably need a three or four hundred dollar hotel room, and he can manage that.

They don’t know that most women are willing to make love with a man in an unfavorable place mostly out of love, not to dampen his enthusiasm. Unfortunately, men cannot perceive such deep feelings. All they can perceive is, “Ah, so this girl can really sleep around so casually, she really lacks self-respect.”

After all, a man who truly loves you would not invite you to have a moment of pleasure on a cold office table from the beginning.

This is the little mental calculation in a man’s mind when it comes to intimacy.

How important is it to be a woman with boundaries, dignity, and discernment in the matter of intimacy?

I think back to the “fitting room incident” that was all the rage a few years ago, where a man and a woman met by chance while shopping and ended up in the fitting room for a romantic encounter. The woman actually agreed to the man’s request to film the encounter as a keepsake.

However, little did she know, the man quickly shared the video with his friends to show off, and it was eventually posted online… When the woman found out, she regretted it deeply, but it was already too late.

She thought it was a passionate moment driven by admiration, but in the man’s eyes, it was like finding ten thousand dollars on the street. Of course, such good “luck” had to be shown off to friends.

Naturally, she couldn’t understand why a man who had been so affectionate would suddenly do something that hurt her.

Junichi Watanabe wrote in “Men Are Like That”: Men’s philandering is mainly for seeking physical and spiritual satisfaction, while women’s extramarital affairs are mainly to compensate for emotional deficiencies.

In short, it reveals the completely different attitudes of men and women towards sex.

What is heartbreaking is that women find it difficult to truly separate love from sex. Whether it’s making love in the office, in a car, filming videos during the act, or wearing sexy lingerie during the encounter… ultimately, these actions are driven, to some extent, by love.

And this tender love should be reserved for those who deserve it, and should not become your weakness, or cause you to cross your boundaries and principles.

Resolutely refusing to allow the man to take photos or record videos during intimacy (even if it doesn’t show your face) is actually a woman’s bottom line.

These boundaries not only protect you from harm but, more importantly, they make you appear more valuable, earn genuine respect from others, and attain precious love, which has nothing to do with wearing expensive shoes or carrying luxury handbags worth thousands of dollars.

When loving others, never forget how to love yourself.

A woman who demands a certain quality of life and self-respect would not surrender herself on a squeaky double bed, allow a man to touch her with dirty hands, or behave like a primitive animal, indiscriminately engaging in intimate relationships anytime, anywhere with the opposite sex.

Love does not exist in rough physical desire, and this is true for both men and women.

As a classic philosophical novel, Milan Kundera once said in “The Unbearable Lightness of Being”: Making love with a woman and sleeping with a woman are two completely unrelated emotions, not just different but completely opposite. Love does not arouse sexual desire in people, but it does lead to the need for a shared sleep.

In my opinion, the weight of this emotion is reflected in intimacy—preparing carefully for the first time, a freshly washed and fragrant bedsheet, a pot of fresh flowers bought after walking five miles, being careful during the process, and the warm embrace afterwards.

True love is actually about respect. When we begin to learn how to respect ourselves, others naturally understand how to respect and cherish you.