In life, each person has their own journey, their own boat to return to.

Along the way, everyone experiences their fair share of heartaches, grievances, and loneliness.

That’s why we all yearn to find someone who can support us and share the long years with us.

But even in the best and closest relationships, it’s important to always maintain a sense of reverence.

Because the longest-lasting relationships always have clear boundaries.

1. Not Overstepping Boundaries

There is a popular topic online: “How important is it to maintain a sense of boundaries?”

One highly-rated response says, “Everyone has their own experiences. If you can’t fully understand, at least don’t excessively interfere.”

Indeed, every relationship has its limits that cannot be crossed.

Maintaining a certain sense of boundaries and knowing what to say, what not to say, what to do, what not to do, will make the relationship last longer.

As Khalil Gibran wrote in “The Prophet”:

“Stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

I couldn’t agree more.

The most comfortable state in a relationship is intimacy with space, where we can warm each other without suffocating.

Just like parallel strings on a musical instrument, each producing a different sound, maintaining an appropriate distance allows us to play a beautiful melody. If we entangle too closely, we can’t play.

Therefore, even with the closest of partners, we still need to give each other a certain degree of freedom. Consider each other’s feelings and be willing to compromise our boundaries if necessary.

As Arthur Schopenhauer said:

“A man, like a hedgehog in the cold winter, if he gets too close he’ll be hurt, and if he moves too far he’ll freeze.”

Maintaining a sense of boundaries creates a sense of security.

When we are together, we are still our own individual selves. This is the best reverence for a relationship.

May we all find the right balance in our relationships, neither too cold nor too fiery, and walk together steadily and enduringly.

2. Not Overly Dependent

In the drama “The First Half of My Life,” Lu Zijun, after divorcing Chen Junsheng, was at a loss, not knowing what to do.

Because she had relied too much on Chen Junsheng, she found it difficult to start a new life after he left.

On the other hand, Lu Zijun’s best friend, Tang Jing, could face the breakup calmly, quickly recover, and live her own life through a new career.

This sense of security doesn’t come from having lots of money or being deeply loved by someone.

It comes from having the ability to love oneself and others, even when you have nothing and nobody loves you.

A person who doesn’t depend on anyone else has the inner strength to face the unknown.

By having enough self-identity and security, emotions flow abundantly and freely, allowing us to love ourselves and others.

Leo Tolstoy said:

“We love one another equally, because we understand and respect each other.”

Life is hard, and no one will always be there for you. Your life, apart from yourself, nobody can fully bear.

The places you want to go, the dreams you want to achieve, it’s unrealistic to rely on others to fulfill them.

Only by relying on yourself will you never lose.

The best kind of love is not having someone say, “I will take care of you for the rest of our lives,” but rather giving your all and working hard until you meet someone who is your equal, someone you can achieve together and rely on each other.

May you find a reliable partner in this life and rediscover your independent and strong self, so that even in storms, you can remain calm.

3. Not Speculating about Each Other

There is a story:

A lion and a tiger engage in a fierce conflict, and in the end, they both end up injured.

As the lion is about to breathe his last breath, he says to the tiger, “If you hadn’t tried to take my territory, we wouldn’t have ended up like this.”

Surprised, the tiger says, “I never intended to take your territory. I always thought it was you who wanted to invade mine.”

Many misunderstandings arise from a lack of understanding, conflicts stem from a lack of communication, and missed opportunities come from a lack of trust.

It’s the same in relationships.

Just like this passage I found online:

“When couples argue and have misunderstandings, one person’s logic is, ‘If you love me, you won’t leave.’ And the other person’s logic is, ‘If you love me, you will come find me.’ And then the story ends there.

It’s not that they don’t love each other, but one assumes the other understands, only to find out they don’t.”

In any relationship, the key is to be comfortable with each other. Don’t read too much into things. When you have thoughts, communicate proactively, and that will make the relationship stronger and longer-lasting.

So, don’t speculate about each other, don’t let outside voices influence you, and don’t wait until your world is in chaos and turmoil before you are willing to say to your partner, “Let’s talk.”

The best relationships require words and communication. Many things are lost because they were not asked for.

Timely communication allows for better understanding and deepens the connection between each other.

The longest-lasting relationships are not overly interfering, not overly dependent, and not speculating about each other.

May you always hold reverence for your relationships and may your loved ones accompany you throughout your life.

Life is long, and love knows no boundaries.