Often, current partners still keep in touch with their exes, even after a breakup. This is not uncommon. So today, I want to share with you whether or not it’s necessary to stay in contact with an ex after a breakup and the potential harm it can cause.

First, let’s look at the reasons why many people stay in touch after a breakup:

1. The passive party hopes for a chance to reconcile

In cases where one party unilaterally initiated the breakup, it’s hard for the passive party to accept. So, the passive party often tries to change and regain the favor of the other or hopes for a chance to reconcile.

2. Offering emotional support to the other party

In cases where one party initiated the breakup, they may suggest staying friends to help the other cope and to alleviate their own guilt.

3. Maintaining a friendship when romance is over

In cases where both parties are no longer lovers but friends, some feel that as long as there are clear boundaries, they can still remain friends.

Regardless of the reasons, if the boundaries aren’t managed well, staying in touch after a breakup can pose certain risks and harm, including:

1. Causing harm to the current partner and making them feel insecure

After a breakup, if one or both parties start a new relationship, it can make the current boyfriend or girlfriend feel insecure. After all, being ex-lovers, staying in touch can remind the current partner of the past intimacy. This can make the current partner uncomfortable. If one party still harbors thoughts of reconciliation, it’s easy to show it through language and actions, such as the tone used and ambiguous language. This can cause harm to the current partner and also impact their relationship.

2. Creating a situation of ambiguous entanglement

As ex-lovers, certain speech patterns, terms of address, and other habits can easily stir up emotions and memories, making the relationship ambiguous and uncertain.

3. Causing misunderstandings

If one party has no intention of reconciling, but the other does, and the former continues to stay in touch without clear rejection, it can give the latter false hope and lead to misunderstandings about the possibility of getting back together.

4. Hindering the start of a new relationship

After a breakup, staying in touch is like having a constant reminder of each other, making it hard to forget. Difficulty in forgetting also means difficulty in starting a new relationship. If the breakup is final, but reconciliation is impossible, this situation can be torturous.

Of course, if you are a person with clear boundaries and your current partner doesn’t mind, you can keep in touch with your ex. In general, though, it’s best not to stay in touch after a breakup.