It seems that there is always a phenomenon in relationships.

A couple, who have been dating for some time, feel good about each other during the dating period, but after getting married, they find it hard to get along.

Not only do they have various arguments, but they also feel like the other person is not who they thought they were. It’s as if they have completely changed and become strangers.

Some may think that the reason for this is that the feelings faded after marriage, so the true selves are revealed. However, more often than not, it’s not because the other person hid their flaws well, but because the way they dated was not right.

Dating shouldn’t just be about eating, watching movies, and going places. This way, you can’t really see each other clearly.

True dating should be more profound.

Talking about the Past and Each Other’s Families

Some people say that loving someone means loving them for who they are now, and that their past and family background are not important.

We don’t have to overly concern ourselves with the other person’s past, but we should still let them talk about it.

Knowing about a person’s past, their family background, past relationships, setbacks, and achievements can often give us insights into what kind of person they are.

Don’t always think that your relationship is just between the two of you. In reality, it involves many things, including your social circles and families.

To a certain extent, by listening to a person’s past, and how they talk about it, you can often predict your future experiences.

Communicate More and Understand Each Other’s Values

Communication is really important in a relationship. It’s not just about eating and sleeping or giving gifts.

You need to understand each other’s perception of the world, various matters, and how you both conduct yourselves. If your values and habits clash, problems will arise sooner or later.

Only when your values align, such as both valuing life quality, being romantic, and having a kind heart, or even if you are not so similar, but can accept each other, can you avoid major issues.

Many relationships end not because love fades, but because they were never truly compatible from the start.

Because they were never truly compatible, as they spend more time together, many issues arise, making it impossible to continue.

Discuss Finances and Future Plans

Some think that talking about money during dating is unwise and can hurt the relationship.

However, in this world, money is essential for a couple, especially after marriage. Without understanding each other’s financial situations and reaching consensus on money matters, the relationship is unlikely to be stable.

So, you should not only talk about money, but also discuss your understanding of it, your incomes, and how you plan to manage your finances after marriage.

You should also talk about housing after marriage, whether you will live with your families, how many children you want, whether you want boys or girls, who will take care of the children, and so on.

Don’t postpone these discussions. If you take it step by step, you may find it difficult to reach a consensus when the time comes, making it hard to sustain the relationship.

Dating involves romantic moments, sweet words, holding hands, and hugs, which are all important.

At the same time, you shouldn’t just focus on these superficial things; you should also exchange thoughts.

For example, after watching a movie, you can discuss your feelings about it, talk about what success means to each of you, and how you view love.

Talking more can reflect a person’s true self and their perceptions.

If you can clarify many things before marriage, you will likely see each other’s true selves, and it’s probable that you won’t encounter major issues after marriage.

Otherwise, only paying attention to sweet talk, without delving into a person’s inner self, makes it difficult for a relationship to last.