In our lives, what’s truly rare is encountering understanding.

There’s a saying I appreciate:

“Being human is inherently lonely. You have to get used to people’s fluctuating warmth and the gradual distancing.”

Indeed, this is often the case.

Many friendships now hinge solely on likes/claps, numerous familial ties are blocked on social media, and everyone is absorbed in their own lives and jobs. After work, it’s either lounging at home or tending to daily routines with kids. With age comes solitude; flipping through contacts, unsure who to call, looking at chat groups, none involve us personally. Those we connect with dwindle, the significant ones are even fewer, and our relationships with the remaining few may be getting more complex—they aren’t “always happy,” but rather “always anxious” when silent.

1. Being able to talk anytime.

A poet once said:

“The comfortable relationship between people is being able to talk at any time.”

We meet many individuals in life, and quite a few with whom we can speak, but those who we can converse with anytime and anywhere are few and far between. During the Tang Dynasty, the friendship known as the “Yuan and Bai” duo was one between Yuan Zhen and Bai Juyi.

These two, with similar backgrounds and personalities, both failed their first loves when they were young, despised evil as ardently as the other, and weren’t ones to flatter as officials. It was as though they were cut from the same cloth.

Even when apart, they shared a special connection.

It’s told that once, while Yuan Zhen was in Sichuan on business, Bai Juyi was taken by friends to tour Qujiang outside Chang’an. Amidst the fun, Bai became melancholic and even penned a poem, which later revealed his longing for Yuan Zhen.

Coincidentally, over ten days later, Bai received a letter from Yuan Zhen, sharing a dream he had upon reaching Liangzhou where he too dreamt of Bai and their times at Qujiang.

Together, they were inseparable, discussing everything and anything. Although pressure from the court later forced them apart, they continued to exchange poems, sharing their mutual yearning.

There’s a saying:

“To find a true friend in life is enough; cherish them with a shared heart.”

True friends talk about everything; sharing joys and shouldering sorrows, with feelings and intentions communicated openly, no separation, no distance. Mutual understanding and respect are given freely, and support is unconditional. But not every relationship is like this—some are conditional and superficial, your troubles are mine but benefits are dodged.

In today’s fast-paced world, we’re all busy. Often, it’s not that we don’t want to talk, but we’re afraid to. Without shared experiences, how can one fully empathize?

So, the one who’s ready to talk at any time must truly understand and care for you. They might not be beside you, but they’re always with you, in heart.

2. Understanding without words.

An author once said: “In our lifetime, encountering love or desire isn’t uncommon; what’s rare is finding understanding.”

So many claim to like you, yet few accompany you, and even fewer understand you. It is said, better to be understood by one than adored by thousands.

For understanding and harmony look no further than Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu.

The pair fell in love at first sight. Back then, courting wasn’t as conversational as now; there were no phones for constant dialogue.

So aside from dates, they were left with letters as their only means of sharing affection. One might think that lovers have endless words, and their letters must be lengthy declarations of love.

However, their correspondence only involved brief phrases. Once, Yang Jiang sent Qian Zhongshu a letter with only the character “怂” (meaning timid or cowardly).

And Qian replied with just as simple a word: “您” (meaning you in a respectable way).

It turned out Yang’s “怂” was asking Qian if he’d had girlfriends before and who held his heart?

Qian’s “您” signified that from start to finish, she was the only one.

They took a single character and understood each other’s feelings.

With understanding, love is unsaid—your feelings known to me, as mine to you. Two souls understand one another, supporting their way through life.

Qian Zhongshu once said:

“Before I met you, I never thought about marriage; after meeting you, I could never think of it with anyone else.”

Indeed, such harmony and fate are precious.

What we seek in life isn’t complicated: simply to be thought of, to be accepted. Ordinary living, simple happiness. The world is vast, people many, but those who understand you, need not say much. Time moves, people change, and those who don’t understand, remain silent.

Life is challenging, and understanding, though easy to write, is hard to find.

To understand others is joy, to be understood is bliss.

Good friendships are built on mutual understanding, and luckily, there are still those who comprehend you.

3. Rarely in touch, yet always held dear.

Gorky once said:

“The best kind of friend is one who doesn’t talk much but can sit in silence with you, feeling deeply connected.”

True friends keep you in their thoughts, regardless of distance.

There’s a saying I like:

“Some people gradually lose contact not because the bond has weakened or distanced, but because there are no suitable roles to play, no reasons to connect, no chances to meet. We keep them in our hearts, occasionally reminiscing, often missing.”

In life, you might find a feeling so strong that presence or absence equally fuels desire; you may find a devotion that persists whether in touch or not.

Those who enter your heart stay in your thoughts, even if not seen daily; true affection, though not frequently contacted, is deeply cherished. Some friends choose to give each other space due to busy lives; some opt for silent blessings to maintain friendships. But lack of contact should not negate the bond we share.

The best feelings aren’t about constant company or endless chatter; they are about being unforgettable even in silence.

It turns out, the best encounters aren’t on the streets, but in the heart; the best relationships aren’t about constant happiness but about calm understanding. The finest of bonds allow free expression, with no reservation, understanding without words, remembrance despite scarce contact, no flattery—just mutual respect and encouragement.

Life’s too short for anything less. If you appreciate this, let’s hope we can all find that person with whom we click, hand in hand, for the rest of our lives.