In this life, we all want to find the person who truly loves us, but the possibility is slim. At this age, I can see more cold truths, but my heart does not feel cold because of this, but the suddenness after the penetration, and the relaxation and freedom after the suddenness!

Why should you ask for true love from others? Thinking back, have we really loved anyone?

Do you think that thinking about her day and night, losing weight and losing sleep, and dying for her is true love?

When he didn’t reply to your message, didn’t send you a gift, or didn’t express your love in a high-profile way, did you feel any complaints in your heart? When he gets involved with women and has a new love, are you crazy or making trouble?

If I like you, you must like me; if I am dedicated to you, you must be undistracted; if I pay for you, you must also pay for me; if I reply to your message in seconds, you must reply to me in seconds, even if I Even if you haven’t sent a message, you should take the initiative to send it to me; if I give you a gift, you must give it to me too, and it can’t be cheaper than mine. Even if I don’t give it, you still have to give it. . .

Is this what you call true love? Don’t kid yourself, it’s not the person you fall in love with, it’s yourself that you fall in love with!

Of course, I’m not accusing you of loving yourself. It’s right to love yourself first. In this world, only the love for your blood relatives can surpass yourself. It is a fool to put yourself behind love. The more you give for love with this attitude, the less likely it will end well. Because if you don’t even value yourself, how can you expect others to value you? What’s more, has your skill really reached the point where you can only give and never be overdrawn?

You don’t love her that much, and she doesn’t love you that much either! Your love can only be maximized within a certain limit, and this limit is—not harming your own interests. As long as you clearly realize this, love cannot reduce your IQ to zero.

Since you don’t really love this person that much, then what are you falling in love with? So what is the feeling of being haunted by dreams and thoughts?

In fact, what you love is: “the feeling of falling in love”, “the feeling of being loved and noticed”, “the feeling of being surrounded by needs”, “the feeling of conquering the opposite sex”. You are unwilling to let go. It’s not that you can’t live well without him. It’s just that you are not convinced and unwilling to get the expected return for your previous efforts!

Your persistence does not prove your devotion, it is just that you have not been able to truly get it. Imagine that he has been lying next to you for decades. Will you still toss and turn for him?

Especially women, it is easiest to fall in love with an illusory feeling, but mistakenly think that they are falling in love with that person himself.

Many men wonder about one thing: at first she was like an iceberg and didn’t even look at me. I greeted her with greetings, good morning and good night, chatted with her, and gave her gifts, and I really won her over. The strange thing is that once the relationship is confirmed, the situation immediately reverses, as if I suddenly become her whole world, which makes people feel pressured and instinctively want to escape. Come to think of it, I’m nothing special and I haven’t done much, so how could she get in so deep?

Men don’t know, that’s because most women need to live in their feelings. They long to feel romance and love, long for an extraordinary emotional life, and even want to experience the ups and downs of true love in novels and TV shows. She needs someone who can make her nervous, make her miss, make her cry, make her laugh, make her obsessed, make her crazy. And as long as there is a target, as long as she imagines him as the hero in the plot, then no matter whether he is good or bad, beautiful or ugly, rich or poor, even if he is married and has children, they can all be ignored. Instead, it becomes a proud proof that “this is true love”.

Therefore, what they fall in love with is just a feeling, not a specific person at all. Just at the right time, this person appeared there and expressed his willingness to be the leading actor. You can say that this is fate. Yes, it is fate, but it is hard to say how much true love there is.

Can you not be troubled by pursuing a feeling, pursuing something that is invisible, intangible, and ever-changing? Now that we understand that we don’t love each other that much, why can’t we just look away?

There is another interesting phenomenon: many women always like to ask after a relationship ends: Did he ever love me?

It was as if his words of “true love” could offset all the pain. If he says no, he immediately becomes worthless and loses confidence and self-confidence in his heart.

In fact, what difference does it make whether he has loved or not? The parting of ways has become a fait accompli, and from then on the road turned towards the sky, each going its own way. So what if he still loves you? Could it be that his love could turn stone into gold? Or, can his love become a sword that you can use to navigate the world in the future? If it can’t bring you happiness and gain at the moment, just listen to it and say whether you love it or not.

What fascinates you is the feeling of falling in love, the feelings he brings to you. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to get that from this guy in the future. But what you have enjoyed has really happened. No matter whether it is out of true love or disguised, exploring it has no meaning for your present and future. Why not let those good things continue to be beautiful in your memory?

So, what is true love? How do you really fall in love with yourself?

If you love her, you want her to live a good life and want her to be happy. As for whether his happiness has your shadow in it, you can accept it. Of course it’s good to be happy with him, but you know in your heart: love is not about possession, but fulfillment, and fulfillment gives him the most wonderful and happy life.

If your so-called true love does not reach such a state, and you only want to accompany each other, to prove your exclusiveness to each other, and to be bound by interests, then the relationship between you is not true love, but just desire, all kinds of desires, including spiritual and material. , mind and body.

I’m not saying that love in this world cannot require mutual exclusiveness or mutual companionship. You can ask for anything in the world, it’s between the two of you.

What I mean is: If your expectations are not met, there is no need to argue with true love. Don’t cry and complain that your true love has been let down. Because, I’m sorry, that’s not true love at all.

You didn’t really fall in love with him at all. It’s not your fault. Maybe he is not someone worthy of your love.

It should be noted that I do not recommend that everyone follow the above standards of true love. It is difficult and stupid for ordinary people to completely ignore who they are paying for their own interests and sacrifice themselves to fulfill whose life. Unless your realm is already at that level and you live a very transparent life, then everything is a natural choice and you will never feel like you have been wronged and sacrificed.

Whatever you do, you can do your best, but you must relax and don’t be attached. The same goes for falling in love. When getting along, try your best to make each other happy, but you must always remain free and easy in your heart.

We are all wallowing in the mortal world, inseparable from the trivial matters of food, clothing, housing and transportation. Don’t call it true love easily, and there is no need to pursue true love seriously.

Within a certain range, we can hug each other to keep each other warm, and we can please each other and have fun. Why worry in advance about whether the future will last forever? Why be so greedy and lament about some shortcomings?

Living with this attitude, no matter what the outcome is, at least we will be happy in the process.

What deserves the most attention is not the ending, but whether we gain inner growth and energy improvement during the process!