The older I get, the more I realize that it turns out that two people who are good at chatting with each other may not necessarily be suitable for each other, and people who are suitable for being together may not really like each other.

After experiencing the world, we will understand that being able to talk, being suitable and liking each other are three different things.

The reason why we can have a good conversation may just be because our three views are consistent.

Someone once asked me, what do you want your partner to look like?

My answer every time is: You must be able to talk to me. We have endless things to talk about together. Even if our parents are feuding, we can talk for a long time.

If you asked me this now, I would still say the same thing, but I understand more and more in my heart that being able to chat is a prerequisite for liking, but it is not the same as liking itself.

Because we will meet many people with whom we can chat with in this life, and the feeling of you saying one sentence and someone else following the next is really exciting.

You can talk all night long, saying good night countless times with your phone in hand but still reluctant to go to sleep; you can talk about a topic for a long time, as if you have really found a soul mate and become addicted to it.

However, as you grow older, you will understand more and more that having a good conversation is just a sign of the harmony of your three views, or that one of you is trying to accommodate the other by following the topic.

You may have a great time chatting, but compared to the heartbeat that occurs when you really like someone, there will still be some shortcomings.

If you meet a person who is a perfect match for you, then you must be careful, because there is no such person, so please don’t believe in fairy tales so much.

The same goes for chatting. You think the other person is your soul mate, but it may be that the other person is thoughtful and has high emotional intelligence. He is following your topic to accommodate you, just to give you the illusion of compatibility.

Of course, if we are lucky enough to meet someone we can chat with, we don’t have to be overly surprised. After all, there are several people hidden in everyone’s life. They are the easter eggs in our lives, but they will always be with us. Love has nothing to do with it.

It fits just because the steps are consistent.

Marriage may be less and less attractive to modern people. Under the influence of the environment and the urging of their parents, more and more people have no choice but to choose to marry the most suitable person.

What does it mean to be suitable?

They are a perfect match, have matching education, have similar savings, and if you’re a little more picky, they have the same hobbies and the same sense of humor. Everything seems to be a perfect fit. You are the golden boy and girl in the eyes of others, and the most compatible CP in everyone’s impression.

But only you know that there is still a little bit of sparks flying between you.

We have just held hands, but it feels like the left hand is holding the right hand, and there is no passion; we have made an appointment to go far into the future, but it still feels like there is a little lack of motivation.

It turns out that suitability is not love. Behind suitability is more game and consideration of the relationship.

It’s not that I have lost confidence in love, I just feel that there is no difference between one person and two people, and I also feel that one person can be more carefree and happy.

Therefore, when you are prompted to enter the lives of two people, there will be many fewer factors to consider whether you like or dislike them. Instead, the whole person will become Buddhist, or maintain low expectations.

So sometimes I feel that being suitable doesn’t necessarily mean liking it, maybe it means “not so annoying” at best.

There is a saying that goes like this: We only understand after we grow up that the person who will accompany us until we grow old may not be the person we have loved with all our heart, but a person who is suitable in all aspects.

The right person may really be able to accompany us until we grow old, but compared with liking this thing, they are still a little weak.

Like, even if it’s not suitable, it still has to be you.

From the time we know and understand love, we have a lot of expectations for it.

For example, I want the person I like to be tall and thin, have a youthful look, and have his own hobbies so that he can accompany me to see the world in his spare time.

But when you really like someone, you will find that looks, interests, family background, etc., everything becomes unimportant. You hope you can see him every morning when you open your eyes, and you hope you can hold his hand until the end.

The so-called true love is to constantly break your own imagination and expectations, so that you are surprised and want to sigh: Why is the person I like so different from what I imagined?

But even though it’s different, you still like it.

In the past, you had many standards, but after you met him, your standards became him.

If you like someone, you will have a strong desire to spend the rest of your life with them. You will want to hold his hand and see all the scenery in the world. You will also want to see his sleeping face when you open your eyes every morning.

You will also hope that no matter whether you are poor or rich in this life, you can hold your child’s hand and grow old with him.

I really hope that the love between you can be as relaxed as expressing one’s feelings, as tender as sympathy, and as strong and determined as possible.

I also hope that when you walk into the marriage hall with him, you can proudly hold his hand and say with a smile, I married him because I like him.