This Girl’s Answer Deserves a 99 out of 100

I recently came across a video of an interview. The content of the interview went like this:

Interviewer: If your boyfriend had no car, no house, no savings, but only a sincere love for you, would you marry him? Why or why not?

Girl: I wouldn’t. If I were rich, I wouldn’t mind. But if I were not, I would mind. Because we can’t even live, so what’s the point of love?

Well, that’s all there was to the interview. She almost perfectly answered many questions that concern a lot of men, earning her a 99 out of 100, in my opinion.

I think she gave a great answer, mainly because she mentioned a premise—“If I were rich, I wouldn’t mind.” In fact, not every girl is materialistic or gold-digging. On the contrary, most girls are not.

Her answer reminded me of my college relationship.

When I was in college, I started dating my girlfriend in my freshman year. We had similar interests, enjoyed writing couplets together every day, and even acted on the streets. I wrote her many poems, and she made me many handmade gifts. We were happy every day together. But in my senior year, she broke up with me.

At that time, her reason for breaking up was that she felt she didn’t love me anymore, was extremely disappointed, and had given up hope, among other things. It was my first serious heartbreak, and I couldn’t handle it. I begged her to reconcile with me every day for six months, but she coldly rejected me every time.

It took me about two years to get over that relationship. I always thought I didn’t cherish her enough and constantly reflected on myself.

Last winter, I added her as a friend again by chance. It had been many years, and we had both truly moved on. When we talked about the past, I asked her the most important reason for breaking up with me at the time. She said that she couldn’t see a future with me back then.

“I liked you at that time, really liked you. I thought you were very talented, and even now, you are the most talented person I’ve ever met. I still admire you. But at that time, I needed to consider my future, so I had to let you go. I thought, if I had a lot of money, I would be willing to be with you forever, but I didn’t have money.”

This relationship had a great impact on me. Looking back, during my college days, I was indeed unfocused. I ranked near the bottom in every exam, slept a lot in the dormitory every day, and after graduating, I couldn’t find a job for more than two months. I’m not exaggerating for the sake of writing, it’s true that no company wanted me.

Thinking back, it’s unreasonable for me to blame a girl for being materialistic and caring about money in such a situation. It was only natural for her to leave me.

After graduating from college, because I couldn’t find a job, I moved to New York.

In New York, I found a job and got a new girlfriend. We were together for over two years, and I thought I loved her and treated her well, but in the end, she left me for almost the same reason.

Initially, I was a little puzzled, a little sad, and a little angry, but when I calmed down, I understood.

After I got over the emotions of the breakups, I never blamed these two girls who left me. I thought it was normal for them to leave me. On the surface, it seemed to be because I had no money, but the root cause was not that.

It was mainly because I wasn’t working hard enough. I played on my phone during work, and even after work, I continued to play on my phone. I wasted a lot of free time.

It wasn’t until I truly realized that I had lost two beloved girls for the same reason that I truly understood: as a man, especially as a poor man, the best way to cherish a girl is to work hard. Hard work may not determine the upper limit, but it definitely determines the lower limit.

If a girl truly loves you, she will greatly lower her material requirements for you, but there is a time limit to this, and there needs to be basic security. The time limit is—she can tolerate your poverty for two or three years, but not for ten or eight years, especially if you are poor and not working hard. The basic security is—at the very least, you should be able to support yourself. If you can’t even feed yourself, and she’s not working in poverty alleviation, why should she stay with you?

If you really love her, and you’re dirt poor and still lazy in bed, why?

I truly believe in the saying, “Never think of women as very materialistic, never underestimate a woman’s determination to share hardships with you, but the premise is that you have to be worth it.” By worth it, I mean you really have to “give it your all,” you have to work extremely hard, and you have to give it your all.

For those who criticize women as materialistic on one hand and as gold-diggers on the other, ask yourselves, have you really put in all your effort?

Of course, at this point, some people will argue, “I work so hard, but she still complains that I don’t have time for her.” If a woman doesn’t understand that you’re working hard for her, and doesn’t have this bit of tolerance, it only means that she’s not worthy of being with you, or it only means that you’re not suitable (for her) at the moment.

In today’s society, even if you work hard, you might not become rich, but hard work can definitely determine the lower limit. I have a friend who has no background, no education, and no special abilities. He works three jobs a day and only sleeps four to five hours. I asked him why he works so hard, and he said, “I want to buy beautiful clothes for my girlfriend. Seeing her wear beautiful clothes makes me happy.”

Well, they got married in their hometown this year. They were together for five years, and they’ve always been happy. Furthermore, the girl he married is also hardworking.

To wrap up, I’d like to revisit the interview at the beginning of the article. I think this girl gave an almost perfect answer.

Why do I say the phrase “If I were rich, I wouldn’t mind. But if I were not, I would mind. Because we can’t even live, so what’s the point of love” is only an “almost perfect” answer?

Because, as a woman, you also have to work hard. After all, energy is conserved—if you get something you shouldn’t get, you will lose something you shouldn’t lose.

You have to tell yourself from the bottom of your heart: “It’s never something that a rich, capable, and interesting man would love and cherish me,” you have to ask yourself, “Why do I deserve all this?” If you want an exceptional person, then you have to deserve someone exceptional.

Not all men without money are unworthy of marriage, but those who are poor and still not working hard are definitely not worth marrying.