Are you there? Have you eaten? Are you free later? Are you asleep? Why no reply? Is this how you chat with someone?

I believe many guys have had this experience, meeting a girl and then foolishly caring, at first she might respond with “oh, hmm,” then gradually she can’t even be bothered to reply to those two words! You happily chat with your goddess, but your messages always disappear into the void without a response.

When you message a girl and she doesn’t reply for a long time, it can be frustrating, and you might even try to console yourself thinking she must be busy. But truth be told, she just doesn’t want to reply to you…

Don’t worry, today is definitely not here to discourage you, of course, it’s here to give you some advice.

If you have the thought of “she’s not replying to messages” in your relationship, then your relationship may not be as simple as it seems.

According to years of analysis in relationship psychology, girls sometimes reply to messages from different guys differently.

1. When an ordinary person messages: Pretend not to see, continue pretending. Really didn’t see…

2. When a pursuer messages: Eat first, do a face mask, watch a movie, watch a video, etc., and then reply… Just replied and another message comes so quickly, I need to take a break, otherwise it’ll never end… It seems bad not to reply, I’ll remember to say goodnight later…

3. When an ambiguous person messages: I’ll put down my phone first, and reply later, otherwise she’ll think I’ve been waiting for her message… Okay, after half an hour, reply casually as if I just saw the message… Then from his perspective, scrutinize the message in various ways to see if there’s anything inappropriate… Did I express myself subtly, hmm, seems not good, I’ll take another look…

Here are a few tips for when a girl doesn’t reply to your messages:

When a girl doesn’t respond, don’t panic—after all, it’s not the end of the world, and it doesn’t mean you’ve lost her forever. It’s just that she didn’t reply to you.

If you suspect she has an ambiguous person, not replying to your messages can be used against her, but you must remain calm, pretend to be upright, and smile.

The purpose of doing this is to arouse the other person’s emotional fluctuations and make them invest more energy and attention in your relationship.

If you’ve practiced the previous tip, you basically don’t have to worry about her not replying to messages promptly in the future. But if you still want more, don’t worry, I have an enhanced version:

Of course, on a deeper level, if the problem of “not replying to messages in a timely manner” can’t be solved just by talking, you should think about what you’re not doing enough of. Are you not working hard enough, or is there someone else trying to undermine you? Or maybe you’re not paying as much attention to your appearance as when you first met?

In the pursuit stage and short-term relationships

The most basic thing in pursuing a girl is to make fewer mistakes, and if you do make a mistake, you need to know why.

I often hear about a knowledgeable IT guy (not making this up) who, after a happy day of dating a cute girl, suddenly kissed her in a dark corner while walking her home, saying “I like you, really like you,” and the girl got a shock, and that was the end of that.

Note: No one says a forceful kiss is wrong, but don’t copy from movies, and if a forceful kiss fails, then it’s your fault…

Going back to the earlier point, a guy sent a private message to a famous girl on Zhihu at four in the morning, and it’s normal for the girl not to reply, and this is a mistake we should avoid.

In the pursuit stage, the recommended times to send messages are:

11:30 in the morning (lunchtime, waiting for a meal) when the girl is likely to be bored or on the way, she will pay more attention to your messages.

5:00 in the afternoon: Same as above

After 9:00 in the evening: Generally, college girls or office ladies are watching TV shows or feeling bored at this time, making it a good time to communicate with them, and it’s even better to ask them out for a late-night snack, especially in the summer when it’s cooler outside at night.

After discussing the right times to send messages, let’s talk about what to say to avoid the awkward situation of not getting a reply to your messages.

First, you should understand that men and women are fundamentally different creatures.

Men communicate more for logic and results.

If you observe carefully, you may find that two women who have just met are chatting, one is talking about how effective a certain brand of skincare cream she bought is, and the other is talking about how crowded the beach was today. Although it seems like they’re not on the same page, they are actually having a great conversation, exchanging contact information before parting ways. Women chat about their own situations and feelings about the current topic.

Let me give an example of my friend, A: His girlfriend was tired of her job recently and wanted to change, and A, falling into this trap, asked me if there was a suitable job for her in her spare time and recorded any messages for her to see. But her attitude towards A became a bit impatient, and when A told her, “I’m doing this for your own good, you need to find a job quickly,” she said, “I can handle it myself,” and they ended up having an argument.

Remember, men are too goal-oriented, don’t always impose your worldview and values on women, just make suggestions.

And the most basic thing, don’t ask too many questions, I’ve seen too many good men always asking five questions in a conversation: Are you there? Have you eaten? Are you free later? Are you asleep? Why no reply?

The deeper meaning here is: Women need to be led by men, even in modern society where men and women are equal, women are not good at making decisions and answering questions, so don’t ask too many questions, this is not something an attractive man should do.

What should you do? Show that you are decisive, firm, not easily swayed by others, and have self-confidence.

At this time, you need some “false democracy” in your messages. For example, “Let’s meet later. Do you want to go to Island Cafe or play board games?” She says, “I don’t know… not familiar with them.” You say, “Then let’s go to Island Cafe, it’s easy to find by the road, call me when you get there.”

In short-term relationships, you need to respect her life and social circle, so your social intuition must be high and you need to judge the situation.

I hope this article can provide some insights for those who are confused about why girls never reply to your messages, don’t know how to pursue girls, and keep making mistakes in relationships.