Recently, my little sister has been facing some romantic troubles.

“Hey sis, there’s a guy who confessed his feelings to me, and I don’t know how to respond,” my little sister couldn’t hold back the secret in her heart and confided in me about her recent distress.

“Do you like this guy? How do you feel about him?” I inquired.

“Well, he’s a pretty nice person, but maybe not my type. I don’t have any special feelings for him. We’ve been getting along well recently, but his sudden confession the other night really startled me,” my little sister said, still feeling a bit frightened.

“What did you say to him afterwards?” I asked.

“I wanted to reject him, but I was afraid of hurting his feelings. I really don’t like him, so I told him to give me a few days to think about it,” her hands were tangled as she spoke, showing her inner conflict.

“Silly girl, the best way to deal with someone who’s not a possibility, someone you don’t like, is to reject them directly. Just tell him ‘I don’t like you,’ cut the ties decisively. It’s better to endure a short pain than a prolonged one!” as someone with experience, I shared my thoughts.

“But I’m conflicted. I’m worried about affecting our friendship. Is being direct a bad idea? It’s so frustrating!” Many people feel like they’ve done something wrong when rejecting others, so most end up choosing to “drag” things out, one day at a time.

“If you don’t like someone, you don’t like them. Don’t beat around the bush. Extinguish any budding feelings at the start of a relationship to minimize the hurt. I believe that as long as you honestly express your thoughts, he will understand,” I encouraged, patting her shoulder.

“Okay, thank you sis. I know what to do now,” my little sister finally made up her mind.

In life, there are always people like this, clearly not interested, yet they don’t reject.

Some people don’t reject because they see the person as a backup, enjoying the attention, ambiguity, and teasing. But when the person formally confesses, they always receive a response like “I think we’re better off as friends.”

I remember when I was young, I pursued a boy for six months. It wasn’t a long time, but I wrote thousands of notes, made hand-drawn paintings, embroidered, and even planted small potted plants, all sorts of gifts.

He never rejected me and would even ask for my help. When he finally rejected me, he said, “Even if you like me for months or years, it’s useless.”

If you don’t like me, why accept all the good things I do for you? I was so naive and foolish back then. I didn’t give up and still chatted with him every day, hoping to move him with sincerity. But my messages were like a stone sinking into the ocean, with no response.

During the time he ignored me, I calmed down and thought a lot. Perhaps his lack of response was his way of showing disinterest. So, I felt hopeless, chose to give up, and decided not to chat with him again in the future.

But just when I was about to make up my mind to stop talking to him, he replied. And with his reply, all my previous stubbornness was shattered, giving me a glimmer of hope.

So, one continued to chase wholeheartedly, while the other continued to feign ignorance. When I couldn’t persist any longer, the inevitable result was clear—hurting both him and myself.

In my opinion, even if I like someone, I wouldn’t want to or be someone’s backup plan. Similarly, I wouldn’t let others be my backup plan. Because this is a lack of respect for each other and for the feelings involved.

Rejecting being a backup involves morals and loyalty. If you like someone, give it a try. If you don’t, reject them. Don’t lead someone on, be straightforward, and don’t give any false hope. It’s best to reject early to minimize the hurt for the other person.

Some people don’t reject because they find it difficult, don’t know how to reject, and are afraid of hurting the other person.

I once read a line on Weibo: “I’m increasingly afraid of someone I don’t like having feelings for me. It’s not about vanity, but about struggling to figure out how to reject without hurting them and without feeling guilty.”

Many times, being pursued by someone should be a happy thing because it affirms your value and charm. However, we still have the right to reject, it’s inherent in us, and anyone can use it.

When faced with pursuit that you are unsatisfied with or cannot accept, using appropriate language and gracefully ending it can truly make it a good experience. In the adult world of emotions, the simpler and more direct, the better.

Don’t waste the other person’s time, emotions, and energy just because you’re greedy for their pursuit and affection. Also, just because someone likes you, doesn’t mean everything they do is justified.

Cutting it off decisively is the least hurtful; being straightforward prevents further complications.

Of course, when rejecting someone, one should also pay attention to the way it’s expressed.

There was a guy I pursued for over a year, and when he rejected me, he said, “I quite like you, but I may not want to be in a relationship.” This type of rejection is not as straightforward as saying “I don’t like you.”

So, rather than giving someone a glimmer of hope, it’s better to reject decisively. Don’t give any hope. If you waver and give them a glimmer of hope, it’s prolonged pain.

Therefore, rejecting others also requires skill. If you’ve decided not to be together, please tell them directly that I don’t like you, let them feel your determination and decisiveness.

Vague attitudes don’t make you look kind, it only deepens the quagmire for the other person, making them feel stuck and unable to extricate themselves. Therefore, allowing someone who appreciates you to exit gracefully is the kindest way for both parties.

If you like someone, openly enjoy being together; if you don’t like them, reject them decisively.

Not knowing how to reject is harmful for everyone involved. The only motives behind repeatedly avoiding rejection are cowardice, inferiority, vanity, or simply being indifferent. But regardless of the motive, the result is continuously giving the other person hope, making things increasingly ambiguous and uncontrollable.

So, when it’s time to be firm, be firm. Don’t worry about being called ruthless, because you’re not going to spend your life with them. Let them go their own way.

Just as the song goes: “What can’t be split up may not necessarily be together. Relationships fear being strung along.”

Therefore, in relationships, rejection should be clear. If you don’t like someone, say it. Don’t string others along, don’t hinder them from finding the right person. I believe this is basic respect for others.