Three Core Techniques: Emotional Stability + Catlike Cuteness + Playful Sweet Torment Push and Pull
1. Emotional Stability
Why is emotional stability so important? Because it means you’re a high energy person who can hold the scene. Anyone who can hold the scene occupies the high position and has high value in relationships.
Once you’re emotionally stable, you don’t get happy over things or sad over yourself in relationships. The other person will feel they can’t take advantage of you, and have to give more. This girl is emotionally stable because she’s confident.
A woman whose emotions easily flare up is the easiest to take advantage of. Your anxieties and temper make it very easy to lower your energetic aura, letting the man gain the upper hand and see through you. But men have to carefully figure out girls who don’t reveal joy or anger and are emotionally stable. The other person will feel uncertain—this girl is stable because she’s confident.
I meet many girls in counseling who easily get emotional, quick to say vicious things, often things they can’t even do themselves. Just venting in the moment, then when the other person ignores them for just one day, they pounce to apologize, admit wrongdoing, beg for forgiveness… This inconsistency between words and actions, being verbally tough but cowardly, after a few times the other person would be a fool not to take advantage.
While emotionally stable girls who are happy in relationships:
✔️ Not servile or arrogant, speak gently and act ruthlessly, sweet mouth and tough heart.
✔️ Don’t overthink the man’s thoughts, but adhere to their own relationship principles (no forgiveness for cheating, confessions must be public, mistakes have consequences). Reward good behavior according to their standards, punish wrongdoing, and eliminate when necessary.
✔️ Know what they want, consider whether the current man can satisfy them, then consider whether to date him.
✔️ Only enter long-term relationships with people who love and respect them.
✔️ When they encounter bad boys, don’t have a savior mentality or wishful thinking, promptly cut losses and eliminate them early.
✔️ Mentally independent, don’t consider the man their sole energy source, have their own passions and ambitions.
✔️ Behaviorally dependent, dare to ask the man for help, dare to act cute, make requests, express their feelings, and can accept rejection.
✔️ Deeply know that in a relationship, how good you are matters more than how good you are to him.
✔️ Prioritize their own needs, promptly express dissatisfaction, whether they’re happy or not in the relationship is most important.
2. Gentle, cute, complimentary and comforting
People who take the initiative to be gentle actually have a lot of strength. What kind of person acts cute and gentle? Only extremely strong women.
These women in relationships speak gently but act ruthlessly, sweet mouth and tough heart. Normally they’re flexible and have a sweet mouth, verbally “coaxing” the man and giving him a great emotional experience.
When they need the man’s help: “Honey, I still have to trouble you for this, I can’t do without you~”
When the man helps: “Honey, only you could handle this. Having you, I feel very reassured.”
When the man needs affirmation: “Honey, you definitely can do it, I believe in my judgment.”
But they adhere to one principle: [Verbally coax, but don’t actually spoil with actions].
Verbally comforting, but mentally maintaining their own boundaries and principles—punish bad behavior without indulging, promptly break up when needed, no savior mentality or wishful thinking, cut losses early and eliminate trash.
A sweet mouth but tough heart, take this principle to its extreme.
As for complimenting men, we’ve said women complimenting in relationships is very advantageous. But there are methods to complimenting men. If you only praise his looks and abilities, that kind of praise is [centered on him], of course it will make him more and more arrogant.
The right compliments are [centered on yourself to praise him], less praising the person themselves and more praising their actions.
Don’t just praise “Baby you’re so handsome, so charming, you’re so good to me”—hearing this he’ll just feel he’s really great, but what does that have to do with you?
The right praise should be: “Baby, you look so handsome when you carefully cook for me” “Baby, you look so charming when you voluntarily do housework” “Baby, you know what, when you pamper me, I feel like the happiest woman.”
This way, he’ll strive to become a handsome, charming man and make you the happiest woman.
You see, just being a little sweeter with some “sweet talk” can make your relationship very sweet, you also get actual benefits without any loss! The man feels accomplished and pampers you more—it’s a win-win!
In fact, people who [provide emotional value], or in plain terms can make the other person happy, are the ones who truly [occupy the high position] in the relationship. Because only the giver has the right to reclaim at any time. Whether to provide or reclaim depends on whether the other person’s actions satisfy them.
That is: The man can only obtain the kind of relationship experience you allow.
Being able to influence someone’s emotions, make them happy or unhappy as you wish, is precisely because the other person needs the emotional value you provide. This kind of person is the true rhythm-keeper in the relationship.
3. Playful sweet torment push and pull gives him the ultimate emotional experience
Relationships that are only sweetness or only torment don’t work. Too much sweetness will spoil a man, you easily become the doormat in the relationship. Only torment will scare a man away, unable to feel the beauty of romance.
So sweet torment push and pull is the killer combo.
I once taught a girl how to seduce her young admirer—chat with him a bit right before going to bed every night, but only talk about lighthearted, humorous things. Chat for 5–6 sentences, then say goodnight (pull). Do this at basically the same time every night, letting the boy gradually get used to saying goodnight to her every night. After a week, suddenly stop saying goodnight every day. Change to saying it once every two days, then once every few days, finally stop altogether (push).
In just a few days after this, her young admirer became very uneasy and couldn’t take it anymore. He took the initiative to ask how she was recently. The situation reversed, the girl gained the upper hand.
Of course this is just the most basic sweet torment push pull technique. Higher level women (love players) have their own methods for providing emotional value, making him cry for you, laugh for you, tying him in knots, yet also making him feel loved—all sorts of ultimate experiences!
Because in relationships, if you can only make someone happy, they may like you, but only by making them heartbroken, upset, tangled up, anxious and worried for you will they truly fall in love with you.
The former makes people feel happy. The latter makes people hard to grasp. Both provide emotional value, but the latter often leaves an unforgettable impression, making them unable to leave you mentally!