I think most guys who have had experiences pursuing girls have encountered situations where the girl doesn’t respond to your messages. I’ve encountered this many times in my pursuit of girls, and even now, I still encounter this situation. I believe this is a common concern for many, as it feels frustrating when a message you put effort into goes unanswered.
In chatting, the issue of not getting a response is quite complex and can delve into psychological games and even worldviews, which is beyond the scope of this article. I just want to address this issue from a straightforward and practical perspective.
There are many reasons why girls don’t respond to our messages, and each reason requires a different interpretation. But regardless of the reason, the first thing we need to do is to stay calm. This may seem simple, but for many guys, it’s difficult. Many guys become anxious when a girl doesn’t respond and start bombarding her with messages like “Are you there?” or “Why aren’t you replying?” In reality, many guys ruin the conversation with a girl because of this behavior. They fail to realize that their anxious and desperate mindset is the main reason for ruining the conversation, not the content of the chat. The phrase “Why aren’t you replying” is a typical mindset that puts you in a disadvantageous position. When a girl senses your negative mindset, she will think you are not an attractive man. So, staying calm is crucial. Sometimes, you have to resist the urge to send multiple follow-up messages.
Now, if we don’t send follow-up messages and the girl still doesn’t respond, we may feel a sense of losing contact, which is undesirable. Therefore, after staying calm, the second thing we need to do is to re-establish the connection in a relaxed manner. We should start a new conversation with a fresh approach, rather than continuing the old, half-hearted conversation in a desperate manner.
Here’s an example:
Me: What are you doing?
Girl: Watching TV
Me: Is there no me on TV?
The girl stops responding.
If we were to send a follow-up message:
Some guys might reply: “Where are you?” or “Are you really focused on TV?” or “You’re ignoring me, I’m so sad.”
These are all attempts to salvage the old conversation, which indicates an unsettled mindset.
What we should do is to rebuild the conversation.
Me: What are you doing?
Girl: Watching TV
Me: Is there no me on TV?
The girl stops responding.
After 3 hours, I send a new message:
I could say: “Just had a dream with you in it” or “I know your stomach is growling” or “How about a date tonight?”
These are all attempts to rebuild the conversation with a new atmosphere, new approach, new topics, and a new feeling, completely ignoring the previous lack of response.
So, we’ve stayed calm and rebuilt the conversation. But if the girl still doesn’t respond, what should we do?
Here, we need to consider the specific circumstances. There could be objective reasons like a dead phone, lost phone, genuine busyness, or maybe she’s with someone else. But regardless, if you’ve rebuilt the conversation and the girl still doesn’t respond, you should be prepared for the worst, which is to move on. Some guys might ask, “Why give up so easily?”
Yes, it’s about giving up easily. Those who obsess over a girl often struggle to initiate conversations and might take months to finally get a new lead. Since it’s hard-won, they cling desperately, sending follow-up messages and displaying infatuation. However, countless experiences of approaching girls have shown me that it really doesn’t take long to win a girl over, at most a month. Pursuing a girl takes time, but if you’ve done your best and she still doesn’t respect your feelings, it’s time to move on and approach someone new. Believe it or not, there are plenty of beautiful girls out there, some are meant to cross paths with you, some are meant to reject you, some are meant to hurt you, and some are meant for you. We just need to keep meeting them and find the one meant for us.
So, the simple and straightforward approach to dealing with a girl not responding to you is:
If she doesn’t respond, leave her.