Time has not made me forget you, but it has made me miss you more.”

01

My name is Mazi and I work in a funeral home.

Although I am not responsible for putting on makeup or cremating the deceased, the whole funeral parlor is so big and there are many things that you may know even if you don’t want to know.

Colleagues who put makeup on the deceased often talk to themselves, never caring whether there is an audience.

“This person was very beautiful today. It’s such a shame that he died at such a young age.”

“That person yesterday was very young and died before he had time to see the world. It’s such a pity.”

“The man who drank to death has an ugly face.”

“Although the old man died, his face was full of unwillingness.”

…

I don’t know what she was thinking when she put makeup on the deceased. But every time she talks to herself, I feel that her psychology is a little weird.

She never smiles and has no expression. Although she fits the solemn environment of the funeral home, doesn’t she have any emotions?

Perhaps, it was precisely because she had cut off all emotions and desires that she could do this job. Ordinary people really couldn’t do it.

However, one day I heard her chatting with the colleague in charge of cremation, and I realized that I was wrong. She was not indifferent, but compassionate.

She said that every time she put makeup on the deceased, she would silently recite the Purana Sutras and the Great Compassion Mantra, not because she was afraid, but because she did not want the living to forget them so quickly.

Then they talked about “Coco” and the classic line: “To be forgotten is the ultimate death.”

The colleague in charge of the cremation said: “Every day I hear the family members of the deceased screaming, some crying, some fainting from crying, some kneeling and reaching out to save them… Whenever this happens, I have the illusion that I feel happy for the deceased. , I believe that the living have such deep feelings for them that they will never forget them. However, who can say for sure? You may not forget them in one or two years, but what about three to five years? What about ten or twenty years later? ?」

02

Not far from the funeral home, there is a cemetery. The person who looks after the cemetery is an old man. I call him Uncle Meng.

I would go to him for a drink when I wasn’t busy, and I would go to him for a drink when I was in a bad mood. Every time I went there at night, the world during the day seemed not to belong to us.

All living people give us a wide berth, as if we were black and white and impermanent from hell.

The dead will not look at us differently, so we treat them as friends.

After work that day, I first went to a nearby canteen and bought two bottles of beef, a pack of spicy strips, and two bags of peanuts. Then I went to a deli and bought beef and pig head meat, both of which were Uncle Meng’s favorites.

We all cherish this friendship since we met each other. Although we have not expressed our emotions to each other, we understand it well.

Instead of waiting until after death to remind yourself to never forget, it is better to go crazy while alive and get drunk today if you have wine now.

Uncle Meng sat on a stool and admired the sunset. His adopted stray dog Xiaobai squatted beside him. He stroked the dog’s head from time to time, and Xiaobai licked his tongue from time to time.

The smell of meat attracted Xiaobai to turn around and he ran over to greet me. Uncle Meng then came to his senses and moved into the house to move a low table and a stool.

As usual, we had a bottle of Niu Er each and chatted while eating.

When the wine was half drunk, a crow flew up from the cemetery, screamed and flew away.

Uncle Meng said: “This crow is punctual. It flies to the cemetery every day, looks for offerings, and leaves only after it has eaten and drank enough. There are many people here, and even the crow doesn’t care about them, let alone the living people.”

His words reminded me of the topic that the two colleagues had discussed. I asked him what was the maximum period of time for a person to be forgotten.

He said that some people may be forgotten as soon as they are buried, while others are always remembered.

With the help of wine, he told two stories, which were more delicious than the dishes I bought to go with the wine.

03

After an old man was buried, no one ever visited his grave.

On the day of his burial, his two sons and one daughter obviously came with their families. They cried very sadly and said many touching words, but they never came again after that day.

Uncle Meng said that he had to suspect that those people were hypocritical and that their sadness was only for others to see.

Maybe they won’t forget their father so quickly, but this kind of memory without warmth is worse than nothing.

In contrast, the deeds of another old man are very warm.

After she left, her son came to visit the grave whenever he could, sometimes with his wife and children, sometimes alone.

He often sits in front of his mother’s grave, and sometimes talks to his mother about his current situation and the memories they share.

The death of a loved one is never a rainstorm, but the humidity of a lifetime.

Time may make the past years fade, but for those who are willing, the past years will never disappear.

Painful memories will fade away, and happy memories will fill the air. Time will not make you forget, but will make you miss it more.

What does it mean to stay the same for 20 years? How deeply do you love someone to become so attached to him?

Some people think that the sense of ritual to respect the deceased is dispensable, but Uncle Meng believes that the sense of ritual can never be lost. Whether it is before or after death, only the sense of ritual can prove the depth of each other’s feelings.

“Just like you and me, although this is a chance meeting, we have never lost the sense of ritual. A wonderful encounter and a deep-rooted love must be interpreted with a sense of ritual in order to create beautiful memories and be able to face life, separation and death. , take it lightly.”

04

On the big stage of life, encounters and farewells are being staged all the time, and life and death are staged all the time. Sometimes we have no time to prepare.

There is no ancient pavilion road or urging you to drink another glass of wine in the real farewell. In a morning like usual, some people stay in yesterday forever.

We are taboo about talking about death, but we have to face it. But every time I face it, there seems to be endless regrets.

Although imperfection is the reality, can we not allow ourselves to leave so many regrets?

Since we only regret it after separation, why not cherish it when we meet and get along?

The people you love and the people who love you are all worthy of cherishing and worthy of a ritualistic carnival.

There is a special place for each other in each other’s hearts, and there will be no regrets even if we never see each other again.