For a period of time, Sarah, due to health reasons, was idle at home. She thought she could finally have time to cook for her husband and improve their relationship, but the trivial matters between them only increased.

Sarah couldn’t understand why her husband, after work, didn’t rush home to be with her but lingered in the office working overtime.

Even when he got home, he just lay there like a log, glued to his phone, refusing to change his clothes…

Fed up with all this, Sarah’s carefully cooked dishes went cold time and time again, losing their original taste. When she complained, her husband seemed indifferent.

He said, “Didn’t we used to be fine before? You are just too idle, that’s why you find fault with everything.”

His words woke Sarah up.

When Sarah was working, she was as busy as a spinning top, overtime was common. With a maid doing the housework, they either ordered takeout or ate out when they didn’t feel like cooking…

Though the trivial matters were the same, it all depends on where one’s focus lies. A person exhausted from work naturally doesn’t bother about various details.

It’s evident that many conflicts in life arise from the different focuses of two individuals.

One person exhausted at home, another insincerely pleasing outside, wearing a mask, both exhausted but lacking empathy.

Thus, the lack of understanding leads both to feel neglected by the other’s emotions.

Have you ever noticed that most dissatisfied couples have mismatched busyness levels?

Either both are not very busy, not focused on work, or one is striving while the other is idle. Such families often end up vexed by trivial matters.

In contrast, families where both spouses are focused on their careers have less attention on daily life details, leading to harmony and setting a good example for their children.

In “The Vegetable Root Talks,” it says, “If life is too idle, evil thoughts arise.”

When one is idle, the mind easily wanders. Not receiving attention from a partner may lead to suspicions of infidelity; finding faults with everything, even in children…

Conversely, when one doesn’t focus much on these matters, there’s less room for negative thoughts.

In life, there are always unfinished tasks, making one feel life is dull. Engaging in nothing all day isn’t favorable either. Idleness can breed trouble, laziness, and physical weakness.

A neighbor in the neighborhood, a full-time homemaker after marriage, was extremely busy in the past years due to having a young child, wishing she had more time.

Upon the child entering school, the neighbor finally had leisure time but started falling ill, always looking sickly. She lamented her bad luck, her indifferent husband, feeling unloved.

Having met her husband a few times, he seemed caring. However, the neighbor claimed others only saw the surface, mentioning they frequently quarreled.

During a gathering, fueled by alcohol, her husband mentioned her constant troubles at home. Initially, he thought her focus on child-rearing and household chores was enough, but it backfired.

Constantly brewing medicine, scolding the child and husband, feeling unloved and unappreciated, her life was like living in hell.

A neighbor remarked, “You’ve spoiled her, get a job, and all these melodramatic issues will vanish.”

Though exaggerated, there was some truth to it.

Many women lose confidence as they age, mainly because post-marriage and childbirth, their focus shifts entirely to the family rather than themselves and their careers.

When you divert your energy elsewhere, you start noticing numerous issues.

If you don’t pay attention to these trivial matters, everything seems fine. People have their personalities and inertia. Constant criticism naturally leads to defiance.

For instance, if a man is consistently criticized for not doing household chores properly, will he willingly do them?

If a child is always reminded by the mother of what to do and what not to do, how can they grow into independent, healthy individuals?

Idleness can truly ruin a normal married life and even destroy a family’s happiness.

Online comment sections are filled with people complaining about trivial matters. Some enjoy peace, only to be overwhelmed the next moment.

Some lament their depression, feeling ignored by others, unable to find their place.

On the contrary, those focused on work rarely have time to express their feelings online, avoiding spiritual emptiness and pointless complaints.

An English saying goes, “Busy people have no time for tears.”

When engrossed in a task, your mind and body are fully invested, forgetting time, worries, and discomfort. You are completely absorbed in what you are doing.

Upon completing the task, you realize the satisfaction and fulfillment it brings. Compared to the supposed pain and troubles, they seem insignificant.

As Hazlitt said, “Work begets work. The busier you are, the more leisure you will have.”

When idle, one loses goals and motivation for progress.

One must find things to do to give life meaning. Being idle leads to waste and is close to being useless.

It’s not wrong for women to be homemakers, but even homemakers have their ways of survival. Engage in activities, find hobbies.

Just like Gu Jia in “Nothing But Thirty,” although a full-time housewife, she never gave up on pursuing life. Her schedule was always packed.

When one’s inner self is fulfilled, there’s no time for sorrow. Even if faced with an unhappy marriage, wiping away tears, she quickly adjusts and stands tall again.

Unfortunate homemakers often fail to grasp the difference between idleness and meaningful idleness.

May everyone not easily waste time but invest it in valuable pursuits, preventing life from being squandered.