Being the third party in an extramarital affair has many drawbacks, which many people are aware of. However, in this world, nothing is absolute; where there are drawbacks, there will inevitably be some advantages.
I’m not trying to encourage everyone to become a third party. What I mean is, if you have ever been a third party, and you have suffered a lot of pain and feel unjust, perhaps we can think about what gains we have from this relationship.
Thinking this way may give you more strength and make you more rational in facing this experience, and give you a greater sense of control over the future.
I’ll give a few examples, and you can also analyze based on your own situation what you have gained in this relationship.
1. Witnessing the Reality of Marriage
Unmarried girls find it very difficult to understand what marriage is really like, even though they live with their parents. Living with parents, you see things from a child’s perspective. However, being with a married man, you can understand the man’s true attitude towards marriage and his wife. Of course, he will certainly have some reservations in what he tells you, but it won’t be entirely false. You can generally see what a failed marriage looks like. Both men and women in marriage have their own needs and face certain problems. This is a rare experience. It will help you prepare in advance for your future marriage. You will develop an understanding that marriage needs to be nurtured; it’s not the end of love. It’s not that dating leading to marriage means everything is settled forever. Marriage is just a new stage in love, and it still requires effort from both parties to create a happy married life. Infidelity is a sign of a failed marriage for the original spouse. Even if they try hard after the affair, the marriage has essentially deteriorated, and there’s no talk of happiness. However, for you, there is still an opportunity. This experience will also serve as a warning for you, and in the future, you will have more opportunities and motivation to nurture your own marriage.
I believe that after experiencing an extramarital affair, your view of marriage will definitely be different from that of other unmarried girls. You can get closer to the truth about marriage, and become more mature, rational, and skilled. This is a resource that requires careful reflection, and ultimately, it will shape your own thoughts and skills.
2. Understanding Intimate Relationships
The concept of intimate relationships is being increasingly emphasized, especially by women. Before this experience, you may have only experienced simple love, which is also a form of an intimate relationship. However, being the third party in an extramarital affair is a more complicated form of an intimate relationship. It’s like jumping from elementary school to college, encountering things you’ve never known before. You may pay more attention to what an intimate relationship is and how to manage it. You will also gain a deeper understanding of men, their nature, and how different they are from women. Many times, when we argue with each other, it’s not about who’s right or wrong, but rather about the different ways men and women think. After experiencing mature married men, you will get a more comprehensive understanding of men. They are actually very mysterious and very different from women. Of course, being with married men will also be different from being with unmarried men. They understand women better, and interacting with them is more comfortable. The experience of love will also be better, and this experience is a gain. In future relationships, you will become more feminine and more interesting, and handle things more effortlessly.
3. Getting to Know Yourself Better
Many girls who become the third party have internal deficiencies, and they long to be loved and to feel secure. In any case, a married man must have fulfilled some of your needs, otherwise you would not have disregarded moral risks and rushed into this difficult relationship. With this experience, after the pain subsides, you must analyze and become aware of yourself. What exactly are you missing, and what are you longing for? Can you fulfill these needs for yourself? If not, when you seek a partner in the future, will you have a clearer direction? You will understand why you are with this person, what he can provide for you, and what he hopes to receive from you. Consequently, you will have more control and insight into future romantic relationships.
4. Enriched Life Experiences
Young women, every experience we have is never meaningless.
The original spouses curse you for your moral decline, and perhaps you also agree that this is a disgraceful experience. However, we need to accept ourselves from the bottom of our hearts, and everything we have experienced in the past.
Every experience you have had, good or bad, has shaped you into who you are today. If you are now strong and wise, then regardless of good or bad experiences, they have nourished you. You have gained positive and negative experiences, and this has made you the confident person you are today.
If you are still in the period of healing from pain, it’s okay; it’s just a phase. One day, you will emerge from it and realize that this experience has enriched your life experiences, making you more composed and unruffled when facing future life.
Because you have seen human nature, you still have yourself.