My friend called me on a weekend before she got off work, asking me out for dinner. I couldn’t help but tease her, “Did your husband send you another red envelope?” She laughed and said, “You always hit the nail on the head.”

My friend has been married for over three years, and she’s currently a stay-at-home mom. Yes, she’s one of those women who quit their jobs to stay at home and raise their kids.

The movie “Kim Ji-young, Born in 1982” calls these women “mom bugs,” meaning they don’t have an income and rely on their husbands. They’re moms, and like parasites, they live off the family.

Many people see “stay-at-home mom” as a negative term, suggesting a lack of income and dignity, meaning they have to ask for every penny from their husbands.

But my friend, even though she also stays at home and doesn’t earn money, has a honey-like relationship with her husband. Their love hasn’t faded because of marriage and children. Instead, it’s grown stronger.

I’ve written many articles about stay-at-home moms being looked down upon, but my friend is a unique case. It’s clear that not all women who don’t earn money are scorned by their husbands. The reason for the disrespect and indifference is simply that they’re not loved enough.

I didn’t think much of my friend and her husband’s relationship before, but after they had their child, I truly saw the difference. When my friend was giving birth, her mother-in-law kept emphasizing a natural delivery, saying it was good for her recovery and would allow them to have a second child sooner.

My friend’s husband immediately refused, saying he’d listen to the doctor and his wife. If they could have a natural delivery, they would, but if not, they’d do a C-section. As for a second child, he’d follow his wife’s wishes. If she wanted to have another, they would, but if she only wanted one, he’d love it regardless of the gender.

Thanks to her husband’s support, my friend didn’t face any dramatic mother-in-law issues during her postpartum recovery period.

After she gave birth, her husband, who used to work long hours, purposely reduced his overtime to spend time with her and their child.

Since there was no one to help with the baby, my friend quit her job. She had a lot of internal struggles before making the decision, as she had heard too many stories about women being disrespected by their husbands and in-laws after becoming stay-at-home moms. So she was nervous at first.

But unexpectedly, after the baby was born, her husband took the initiative to give her his salary card, putting her in charge of their household finances. To ease her mental burden, he encouraged her to learn about investing, so she could make money from money.

My friend is a hardworking and eager learner. She’s the type who won’t do anything unless she has to, but once she starts, she gives it her all.

Her husband’s intention was simply to keep her from feeling inadequate because she wasn’t earning money. But after he handed over his money to her, she managed to make a good profit.

On top of that, she’s pretty smart. She took on some writing gigs during her free time, and her monthly income was almost as much as when she was working full-time. Her husband felt like he hit the jackpot marrying her.

Some say that a man’s money is only spent on the woman he loves.

That’s true, but love is unreliable. When he loves you, everything about you is good. But when he doesn’t, it can happen in an instant.

“My First Half of Life” is a great example. When Chen Junsheng married Luo Zijun, he told her, “I’ll take care of you.” Back then, he genuinely loved her and wanted to come home to a happy family with a virtuous wife and well-behaved children.

They were happy for a long time. But as Chen Junsheng moved forward, Luo Zijun remained stuck in the past.

She naively believed his promise would last a lifetime. Maybe Chen Junsheng didn’t expect any problems either. But in marriage, each stage has different needs for love.

When Chen Junsheng felt like he wasn’t getting what he wanted from Luo Zijun, his feelings inevitably shifted.

That’s the reality of marriage.

When a man no longer loves you, will he still spend his money on you? Unless he’s incredibly wealthy and doesn’t care about money, that’s one possibility.

But how many people in the world are like that? Most of us are just trying to make a living and face the harsh realities of life.

When Chen Junsheng divorced Luo Zijun, if it wasn’t for Tang Jing and He Han’s help, she wouldn’t have gotten anything.

Men are very realistic. When they’re swept away by passion, they genuinely say, “I’ll take care of you,” but ultimately, life is more practical. Love built on nothing can’t put food on the table.

Sanmao said that love, if not grounded in the mundane details of life like clothing, food, and sickness, won’t last.

Each of these things is related to money. Someone who loves you won’t just make promises, but will consider every aspect. It’s not just about “him taking care of you,” but about wanting you to grow alongside him and become better together.

Looking at my friend’s marriage, she’s earned her husband’s approval, not just because she’s a good stay-at-home mom and can earn money, but because she understands that relying on a man isn’t a long-term solution. The most important thing is to never give up on your own financial independence.

The scariest thing in marriage is when one person has moved far ahead while the other is still stuck in place.

No matter how much you love someone, you can’t give up your ability to make a living. My friend was able to move forward because her husband created the conditions for her, but she knew she had to take that extra step, not just lie back and enjoy the comfort of marriage.

If she had, she might have become the next Luo Zijun.

Even though having children for a man might make it seem like spending his money is justified, and there’s nothing wrong with that, if you completely depend on him and have no ability to survive on your own, a crisis could easily arise.

Knowing how to be prepared for the worst should be a skill every woman possesses.

After all, you can’t rely on mountains, because they might collapse. And if you rely on people, what happens if they leave?

Zhang Ailing once said that spending a man’s money is a woman’s greatest happiness.

So when she met Hu Lancheng, she liked to nag him for pocket money.

But did she really need his money? At that time, Zhang Ailing had already achieved a certain status in the literary world through her writing, and she was making a lot of money.

She didn’t lack money herself. Spending a man’s money was simply enjoying the feeling of being pampered.

So don’t believe the toxic positivity that says a man should take care of a woman. You bear his children, so he should provide for you. There’s nothing in this world that’s inherently deserved.

Except for your parents, who will give you unconditional love and support, almost everyone’s actions towards you come with strings attached.

And that string is whether you’re worthy.